I Know Where I've Been
by Mn04K
Summary: Really, her situation was absurd. And most unfair. Wasn’t having Elphaba – green, antisocial, unpopular, moodified Elphaba- as a roommate enough? Was it really necessary to make her have a crush on the green girl, too? Gelphie
1. Places far too nice

**Title: **I know where I've been

**Rating: **PG13

**Summary: **Really, her situation was absurd. And unfair, _most_ unfair. Wasn't having Elphaba – green, antisocial, unpopular, moodified Elphaba- as a roommate enough? Was it _really_ necessary to make her have a crush on the green girl, too? **Gelphie**.

**Subject: **Musical. There will be some details from the book, though.

**Disclaimer: **Wicked Belongs to Gregory Maguire. The musical verse belongs to Stephen Schwartz and Universal, I believe. I am but a mere fan, I own nothing.

**A/N:** Hello there, wicked people! Blushes I'm so glad to be here!

I haven't been in the wicked fandom for too long, but let me tell you what I've learned so far: this fandom is _angsty_. Man, this fandom hurts so _so_ good, it's insane. So, having read many wonderful, profound, deep – and of course, angsty- stories, I've decided some fluffy fun was needed. Be warned, I'm nowhere near the level of some of the wonderful authors here.

**Warning:** this is will be _femslash_, of the Galinda/Elphaba flavor. If that's not your cup of tea, I suggest you go back and find another story. I know, girl-on-girl, shameful, really. Pleasure to meet you, though!

To those of you who are still reading (shame on you!) – Here goes the first chapter:

**I know where I've been**

**Chapter one:**

"_Places far too nice"_

Galinda was well aware that her life had been anything but difficult or challenging. It was only natural, she assumed, that Fate, or Lurline, or the Unnamed God -She wasn't sure what she believed in anymore. She'd rather not to stress herself with the idea, though. She'd get frown lines- had decided to present her with a challenge. Something difficult, monumental, something to - as her grandmother used to say- shape her character, something, well, something _challenging_.

_This_ particular challenge however, was a tad too much for her.

Really, her situation was absurd, And unfair, most unfair. Wasn't having Elphaba – green, antisocial, unpopular, moodified Elphaba- as a roommate enough to right the cosmic scales for her easy life so far?

Was it _really_ necessary to make her have a crush on the green girl, too? This, Galinda thought, this was _definitely_ most unfair.

Galinda wasn't sure when this ridiculous crush had started. It was all Elphaba's fault, of course. She had taken advantage of her: Galinda, being the nice person she was, had opened her heart's door to Elphaba; she had offered a nice uncomplicated friendship. Of course Elphaba, who didn't have many nice things at all, had taken one look at Galinda's heart, and decided it would be _hers. _She marched right in Galinda's beautiful fluffy pink heart and took residence.

And that was it, before Galinda had time to realize it, Elphaba was everywhere. Every wall on the inside of Galinda's heart was green.

She hadn't expected this. She could think of little else but Elphaba - green, antisocial, unpopular, smart, funny, beautiful, sexy, wonderful Elphaba.

Galinda sighed. _D__efinitely_ most unfair. She thought about Elphaba day and night. Especially at night. Elphaba was so simply gorgeous at night.

Some nights, when Elphaba was reading, the candlelight danced across her face, she wasn'tsimply _green _then, she looked positively emerald. Like some beautiful exotic jewel. Her inky luxurious raven-black hair was down, framing her face, and she played with a pencil while she mumbled absentmindedly. In those moments, she looked so intriguing and captivating, but at the same time, she looked almost vulnerable, approachable. Galinda Liked Elphie like that most of all. She was so, so beautiful.

Galinda wanted to run her fingers trough that silky hair, and then she wanted to run her hands across that emerald skin, and then she wanted Elphaba to kiss her until she passed out, and then – Galinda stopped that train of though. This darned crush was getting way out of control. Out of control… she wanted to let her lips out of control and kiss Elphie's…- She groaned, and hit her head against her desk.

"Galinda, really" Elphaba said, walking into the room "I know homework is notoriously difficult for you, but you needn't hurt your pretty head over it". Elphaba, the mean thing she was, looked terribly amused at Galinda's inner turmoil.

_Oh, sweet Oz._ Galinda thought, realizing that Elphaba was there, and she was flushed, and thinking about things far too nice…far too _inappropriate_. Inappropriate. Right.

_Breathe, Galinda, breathe_ She commanded herself, she feared that if she didn't get her flushing under control Elphaba might realize what she had been think about. Elphaba always knew everything, she was incredibly smart. She read all sorts of strange old books.

_Maybe she's read all sorts of amorous books, and is just dying for someone to practice with_ Said a voice in Galinda's head, it sounded Elphieish. Galinda turned beet red.

"Galinda, you are quite flushed" Said Elphie, seriously "Want me to ask for Madame Morrible?"

Funny what a simply name could do. The mention of Madame Morrible certainly put an end to any thought of amorous nature in Galinda's mind.

"No, I feel perfectly all right, thank you very much. _And_, I don't have any problems with my homework, Elphie" It wasn't a complete lie. It was possible she _would_ have trouble with her homework, when she started it. "I am simply, err…" Galinda gestured vaguely with her hands, "..relieving stress! This is a very common practice in Gillikin, don't you know" She banged her head against the desk again, and again, and again.

"There, I feel _so_ much better!" Galinda said happily, bouncing out of her chair.

The look Elphaba gave her was a cross between incredible amused, and mildly frightened. Or at least, that was what she thought; those hits to her head were making her kind of dizzy, actually.

"Relive your stress away then, my sweet. With any luck, you'll make yourself unconscious and I'll be able to study in peace for one night" Elphaba said, chuckling.

"That's just mean; Elphie" Galinda pouted "I always let you study"

"You mean like last night, when you decided you just_ had_ to show me your entire shoe collection – sorry- shoe _empire_, so I could help you decide which ones to wear today?" Elphaba asked

"Well, maybe you didn't study that much yesterday. Still, I-" Galinda began, only to have Elphaba interrupt her:

"Or the day before, when you had a sudden craving for – What was it?, oh, yes - Munchkinberry ice-cream, and dragged me all around Shiz to buy it?"

Galinda didn't understand why she felt so hurt. Elphaba was always mean, and she knew that she was just teasing her, but still. Suddenly, she felt like crying.

"I - I'm sorry Elphie". Shesaid, in a small voice. "I let you study tonight, I promise".

She must have sounded as hurt as she felt, because Elphaba softened immediately. She gently lifted Galinda's face with her hand.

"Galinda, you don't bother me. That's not what I meant, you blonde twit. I was teasing you" Elphaba said, softly. She was almost -but not quite- smiling.

"You are beyond mean" Galinda pouted.

"I know, I'm sorry"

Elphie leaned and whispered in Galinda's ear: "I'll make it up to you"

"How you plan on doing that?" Galinda asked, barely resisting the urge to purr. Elphie was so close, for a second, Galinda though she was about to kiss her.

"I'm going to help you with your homework, of course" Elphie answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh. Of course" She tried, with little success, not to sound _too_ disappointed

"You don't want me to?" Elphaba asked.

"No, of course I do, I just thought you were-… I thought maybe we could do something fun" Galinda said.

"But, homework _is_ fun" Elphaba answered, giving her a lopsided teasing grin.

"Different fun, then" Galinda said, sitting on her fluffy pink bed

"Well what do you suggest, then, my sweet?" Elphaba asked, sitting in front of her in her tattered bed.

_Oh, I don't know,_ thought Galinda, _maybe, you know… I could kiss you silly? Or you could kiss me silly? Or we could just kiss each other silly, and then you could buy me some nice flowers and invite me to a date, and get that ridiculous Boq out of my hair, and then-_ Galinda groaned and put her face in her hands before Elphaba noticed her flushing. Yet again.

She really, _really,_ wanted to bang her head against something.

"Galinda, are you sure you're quite all right?" Elphaba said, sounding concerned.

"Yes, yes. Of course I am" Galinda said, as perkily as she could. "Is this terrible stress I'm under, it's making me - uhm - peculiar"

"But of course, that wicked stress." Said Elphaba, amused. "You really should do something about that. The Gillikinnesse therapy doesn't seem too effective"

"No, it doesn't, does it?" Galinda said, giggling. "I have all sorts of ideas for wonderful fun filled, stress relieving activities. But-" She sighed melodramatically and Elphie chuckled "You are right. I need to do this homework, and I could use your help, it's about some sort of chemistry thing I don't get at all" Galinda finished, frowning. Sometimes, she felt just as dumb as everyone thought she was. She handled Elphie her assignment.

And then, Elphaba did something truly inconsiderate of Galinda's feelings: She took a look at the paper, and smiled: a big, toothy, brilliant smile.

"This looks really interesting" Elphaba said and began an exited, long and possibly extremely complicated explanation of the assignment, but Galinda wasn't listening. Elphaba was just _so_ beautiful when she smiled.

"Galinda… Galinda!" Elphaba was waving a hand in front of her face a few minutes later "You know, I think you aren't well" she frowned.

And Galinda wasn't. Her mind had wandered – yet again- to places _far_ too nice, she felt hot all over, and she was sure her face was beet red.

"Galinda? Are you hearing me?" Elphaba asked, loudly

"Yes, Elphie, I'm hearing you" She answered, after a few moments, trying to sound as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening "Let's do that homework, shall we?" She smiled her sweetest smile at Elphie, who just looked kind of confused.

* * *

After they finished the homework, Galinda lay awake for a long while thinking about Elphie. This situation, she decided, _had_ to stop. Galinda wasn't a girl used to pinning, and she wasn't planning on getting used to it. 

Galinda wanted Elphaba, and Elphaba was going to have to wise up and realize this, and ask Galinda out on a date, darn it!.

She would flirt, she would flounce, she would do whatever it took, but she _would_ get Elphaba Thropp. She _would_.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face: she was determined to succeed.

* * *

Reviews are accepted and encouraged. I can accept constructive criticism (granted, it may make me _cry_, but I will most definitely take it into consideration). 

So, let's be nice to the little self-conscious author wannabe and review, 'kay?


	2. Change the world

**Disclaimer: **Wicked belongs to Gregory Maguire. The musical verse belongs to Stephen Schwartz and Universal, I believe. I am but a mere fan. I own nothing.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the nice comments. They made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I got good news for you! Got meself a beta, duckies. Isn't that grand? Many, many thanks to **The Wolfinator** for being so helpful with this chapter, and so nice about what needed to be fixed. Thanks!

That's all. Here goes the second chapter: 

* * *

**Chapter T****wo:**

"_Change the world__"_

Galinda spent the next few days in a frenzy of scheming. She thought so much that she started to fear her brain would melt. Elphaba must have feared the same thing; she was looking more worried the more Galinda sat at her desk and thought. She planned and plotted her days away until she finally was able to devise a plausible strategy.

The first step of "The Plan" was simple: she would need to make Elphaba eligible. Not to _her_, of course. To Galinda, Elphaba was far _too_ eligible for her own good. She also needed other students to consider Elphaba eligible.

Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands had absolutely no room in her life for a clandestine affair. That was just ridiculous; clandestine affairs were for mistresses of married men. _Not_ for the most beautiful and popular girl in all of Shiz. If she was going to date Elphaba – and she _was_ going to date Elphaba- she wasn't going to hide. She wanted to go on dates, she wanted flowers, she wanted to hold hands, and she wanted Elphaba to walk her to class and carry her books. Elphaba was going to court her properly, but she would never be able to do that with all of Shiz University loathing her.

To be fair, Elphaba probably could do all Galinda wanted with Shiz hating her, but it would be a terrible inconvenience. If Galinda dated Elphaba with the green girl being as unpopular as she was now, her friends would surely stop talking to her. She didn't think they were such great company, mind you, but she didn't believe Elphaba would be a good shopping companion.

Elphaba being a girl wouldn't be a terrible problem, Galinda knew that Elphaba's gender didn't present a terrible problem.There were plenty of people who dated their own gender: It was acceptable in most of Oz, there were two girls dating eachother even in their section of the dorms. Of course, her parents would have preferred her to date a handsome prince. They wanted grandchildren after all. Galinda supposed they would have been happy with Fiyero, but it hadn't worked. After two dates and a couple of unsatisfying kisses, they both had decided their relationship wasn't going to work. Her parents would have to deal and adjust. 

The problem with her Elphie was that she was, well, her Elphie. She was green, strange, and antisocial. Most of the popular students in Shiz despised her. Galinda herself had loathed Elphaba when she had first met her, and _she_ had changed her mind. With the right kind of encouragement, the others would too. Galinda was sure of that.

First, what she needed was something that would help make people stop thinking Elphaba was weird and make them start thinking she was _mysterious_. Something that would make Elphie interesting…make her worth knowing. There was only one thing she could think of.

* * *

"I discovered something quite peculiar about Miss Elphaba last night," Galinda said one day while she was having lunch with her friends.

"More peculiar than being a horrible green bean?" asked Pfanne. 

_Honestly,_ thought Galinda, annoyed. _If you're going to hate somebody, at least put some effort into it. You've called her the same silly name the last five times I've mentioned her_.

"Yes," Galinda said, smiling. She took a sip of her drink and continued. "More peculiar than being green, indeed."

"Do tell us, please, Miss Galinda," said ShenShen, looking curious and at the same time, bored. 

Galinda remained silent for long enough that her friends began to look anxious and _extremely_ curious. Then, she said in a low whisper, "Miss Elphaba is extremely rich." It was a lie, of course. As far as Galinda knew, Elphaba was a pauper.

"The vegetable is rich? Are you having us on, Miss Galinda?" Milla asked, not convinced.

"Oh, she is. She is obscenely rich," Galinda whispered. "She hides it well, of course, because she doesn't want to get any attention for her family fortune. She is the heiress of various mansions, whole states for all I know, and she has _plenty_ of money."

"Really?" ShenShen perked up, her interest evidently piqued.

She was convincing them. _Good_.

"Indeed," Galinda continued. "She didn't want me to find out, of course. But last night I found this trunk – a whole _trunk_- filled with the most exquisite jewelry I've ever seen." 

"A trunk?" Asked Pfanne "A trunk full of _jewelry_? Where!" Pfanne's eyes were glazed, and Galinda was pretty sure her mouth was watering. Galinda would have laughed if it wasn't so disturbing.

Galinda nodded. "It was under her bed. I saw it while I was trying to retrieve an earring I dropped." The girls still looked unconvinced.

"Why does she dress like _that_, if she has so much money?" Milla wondered. 

_Oh, you are a though one, aren't you?_ though Galinda. 

"I told you, Miss Mila, she doesn't want anyone to know of her status. She hasn't explained why yet, but I believe her family has an important political position."

Galinda realized that hadn't lied this much since she had been fourteen and her parents hadn't let her date that eighteen year old boy she had a terrible crush on.

"That is most peculiar indeed, Miss Galinda," Pfanne observed.

At that precise moment, Elphaba entered the lunch hall. She sat on an empty chair in the most secluded spot she could find, opened an enormous, boring-looking, ancient book, and started reading while munching an apple absentmindedly.

"It does make a certain amount of sense," said ShenShen. She was looking at Elphaba intently. "She does seem to have a fair amount of eccentricities. Incredibly rich people always do."

Galinda smiled. She had gotten them. Elphaba was no longer _weird_. She was _eccentric_. 

Still, this wasn't enough. She needed to make sure they told _everyone_ they could about this new "revelation."

"I need to ask something of you," Galinda said seriously, whispering as if telling some great secret. "I've told you this because you are my most dear friends and I trust you, but you mustn't tell anyone what you've learned."

"Of course not!" Milla replied.

"We would never!" cried Pfanne

"Oh, how could you even entertain such a notion?" asked ShenShen, indignant.

_There_, thought Galinda, smiling._ The whole University should know that Elphaba is an obscenely rich heiress by lunch tomorrow._

* * *

Pfanne, ShenShen and Milla proved to be more efficient than Galinda had imagined. By dinnertime, people were whispering, pointing, and looking at Elphaba with surprise and with a hint of fascination.

Elphaba didn't notice, of course. She was so used to the stares and whispers that she mostly tuned them out. However, Galinda was paying attention. The stares were different- less aggressive, and the whispers were soft; they didn't want Elphaba to hear them gossiping about her. 

Galinda grinned. She was actually quite proud of herself. 

Now, she needed to start the second step of her plan: Make Elphaba popular in her own right, before Shiz realized she really didn't have a fortune.

And the first step to popularity? Friends with influence. 

She crossed elegantly to Elphaba's table – honestly, did she have to sit so far away from everything? People wouldn't even _see_ her sitting with Elphaba here - And she sat.

Elphaba, the brute she was, didn't even look up from her book. The books themselves kept getting bigger and bigger; Galinda wondered how in Oz Elphaba was able to carry them.

"Hem, hem," Galinda coughed delicately.

Elphaba turned a page.

"Hem, hem." 

Elphaba kept on reading. 

"Hem, _Hem!_"

Silence.

"Elphie!" Galinda shouted, finally tired of Elphaba _not__paying__attention_ to her. How rude.

"What–" Elphaba looked up from her ridiculous book, seemingly irritated. Then, she looked shocked. "What are you doing here, my swe- Miss Galinda?" She looked around, probably afraid she was to be the victim of some prank. 

Galinda was quite offended. 

"Can't I have dinner with my roomie, Miss Elphaba?" Galinda asked crossly, huffing a little and crossing her arms over her chest.

Elphaba looked at her in confusion. She started to say something, but then stopped. She sighed. "Of course you can," she said finally. "But people will see you." 

"They could see me far better if we moved to another table," Galinda pointed out, indicating a table in the center of the hall with a nod of her head.

"Why are you doing this?" Elphaba asked, narrowing her eyes. By this point, Galinda felt most insulted. 

Elphaba _was_ all kinds of hot when she got paranoid, though.

"I'm making you popular, of course." Galinda smiled.

"Galinda!" Elphie unconsciously dropped the honorific. "We've been over this. I can not, I _will_ not, become some sort of a green and pink monstrosity of a debutante to fit in with our moronic classmates."

So, Galinda's last attempt to make Elphie popular hadn't gone _so_ well. Galinda still believed pink looked good with green, but Elphaba had looked positively ridiculous in her pink frilly dress, and even worse in her yellow sundress. Really, Elphaba had looked horrendous in _all_ of Galinda's clothing.

"You will not need to become anything, Elphie," Galinda reassured her.

Elphaba narrowed her eyes. She still looked extremely suspicious. 

_Will you be so kind as to stop that infernal attitude?_ Galinda thought. _You're making me blush, and it really doesn't look well with this dress!_

"How so?" asked Elphaba.

"I have decided that I will not need to change you to make you popular. I have a different plan this time," Galinda answered, grinning proudly.

"And what, pray tell, is this _fabulous_ plan of yours, Galinda?" Elphie hissed sarcastically. 

Galinda smiled. It didn't matter if Elphaba thought her plan was complete rubbish; they both knew Elphaba would go along with it anyway. She had yet to learn how to say 'no' to Galinda.

"I won't need to change you because," Galinda's grin got ridiculously wide, and she looked extremely pleased with herself when she finished, "I'm going to change the world!"

* * *

Elphaba felt confused. This was a normal occurrence when she had to deal with social matters. However, today, she was _very_ confused.

She sat on her bed and pretended to read, but the words in her book had lost all sense about half an hour ago. A couple of meters away, Galinda slept soundly, occasionally giggling or mumbling something unintelligible.

_Galinda_. It was all Galinda's fault. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't read…s_he_, of all people, couldn't read! She just wanted to understand.

And she couldn't do that either.

She couldn't understand why Galinda – perfect Galinda, popular Galinda, _beautiful_ Galinda – was so determined to make _her_ popular. Sure, they were friends. Good friends, even. But still. What did Galinda hope to gain with this?

"_I'm going to change the world__!" _Galinda had said.

Elphaba had laughed, of course. But inside, she was worried. She had no doubt Galinda _would_ change the world if she actually wanted to.

The world would turn itself inside out if Galinda asked it to.


	3. Of rumors and propositions

**Disclaimer: **Wicked belongs to Gregory Maguire. The musical verse belongs to Stephen Schwartz and Universal, I believe. I am but a mere fan. I own nothing. 

**A/N: **Once again: reviewers? You rock my socks.

And of course, this chapter wouldn't be what it is without **The Wolfinator**'s great beta work. Thanks, Wolfie! 

Now, on to the chapter:

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

"_Of rumors and __propositions"_

Galinda was, yet again, very pleased with herself. Things were progressing quite nicely, with only minor setbacks. Shiz's attitude towards Elphaba was slowly, but surely, bending to her will. People had stopped looking at Elphaba with loathing and had begun regarding her with mild apprehension instead, and no one threw anything at her anymore.

Fine, so people weren't crowding to talk to Elphaba yet. Give them time. 

Poor Elphaba was, naturally, completely bewildered by these changes, although she tried very hard not to show it. That very morning, a boy had approached them and had actually greeted Elphaba. _Nicely_. Elphaba's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head.

Galinda had almost passed out from the effort of holding in her laughter at the sight of Elphaba stammering a response, blushing profusely, and finally walking into a wall. 

The only thing that worried Galinda a little were some rumors which her "confession" might or might not have caused. She fervently hoped Elphaba wouldn't hear them, because some of the rumors were getting _way_ out of hand:

"_Those books she carries all th__e time- they aren't just old, they're antiques. They must've cost a fortune!"_ She'd head some girl in her year say.

"_I hear she has a__ wardrobe _full_ of gold!"_ another girl had responded.

Galinda had thought the ridiculous rumors very funny at first. However, the worry had started when she heard the rumors that were flying around at lunch:

"_I heard __she is going to be married to a Vinkus Prince!"_

"_She__ can turn her skin into any color she wants. She just likes green better; told me so herself."_

"_..has a sister who has no arms. Elphaba levitates her food to help her eat!"_

And the rumors just kept getting wilder and wilder at dinnertime:

"_I heard her magic is so powerful…she can fly!"_

"_Of course she can! She is the secret daughter of the Wizard!"_

"_She _is_ the wizard."_

Galinda couldn't believe people would actually believe that kind of nonsense, so she assumed that the most ridiculous rumors would simply dissipate with time. Wouldn't they? 

Still, all in all, her plan had been an absolute success. She should be dating Elphaba in no more than a month. First, though, Galinda needed an opportunity to initiate stage three of her _fabulous_ plan. 

* * *

"I don't understand a single world of this," said Pfanne the next morning in their chemistry class.

"Me neither. This thing is _absurd_. Look at these strange numbered letters. How can we ever hope to understand this? It's gibberish!" ShenShen sighed, looking at her notes with pure unadulterated loathing.

Galinda almost sympathized. _Almost_, but not quite, since this was exactly the opening she needed.

"Oh, girls, don't worry," Galinda said sweetly, reaching into her bag for her notebook. "You can just copy my homework." 

She passed the notebook to Pfanne, who looked at it as if it might be possessed.

"_You_ understand this?" asked ShenShen. 

Galinda didn't know if she should take offense at her friends' evident astonishment. She chose not to, because she actually _didn't_ understand chemistry at all.

"Oh, of course I don't. Miss Elphaba helped me finish this," Galinda answered, waving the notebook a little.

Pfanne, ever the ringleader, hesitantly moved her hand towards the notebook and took it.

"_Elphaba_ helped you with your homework?" Milla questioned in disbelief.

"Yes. It was rather nice of her, don't you think?" said Galinda, looking briefly to Elphaba. Elphaba was at her usual place in the darkest, most secluded spot in the whole classroom. Galinda wondered how Elphaba managed to understand this class at all; she probably couldn't even see the board from there! "She saw me struggling and offered to help."

Naturally, it was a lie. Galinda had pleaded and pouted and huffed for _hours_ (or twenty minutes, according to Elphaba)to convince the green girl to help her. Her friends needn't know that, however.

Besides, she feared that if she started talking about mean-Elphaba, hot-Elphie would inevitably creep in, and with _her_ would come fantasy-Elphie who did things with her tongue that-

"I think we've lost her."

"Wave a hand in front of her face or something."

"Galinda."

"Galinda!"

Oh, Elphaba looked gorgeous in silk…although Galinda was sure she'd look even better withou-

"_Galinda!"_ Her fantasy was cut short by Milla _screeching_ in her ear. How impossibly rude!

"Galinda, are you all right?" asked Pfanne.

"Yes, thank you. It's just…stress. I was thinking about the exam next week," Galinda muttered, trying to hide her furious blush by busying herself with tidying her desk.

"Don't remind me," groaned Milla.

"I'm never going to pass," ShenShen added.

"Of course you aren't!" retorted Pfanne.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence!"

"You are welcome, my friend. Now, we should just start packing. We're never going to pass," sighed Pfanne, closing her notes-free notebook.

"Unless…" Galinda began pointedly.

"Unless?" prompted Pfanne.

"You aren't actually _suggesting_ what I think you are suggesting, are you?" said Milla in disbelief.

"I do believe I am, Miss Milla," Galinda replied mysteriously.

Milla slowly, as if in pain, turned her head in the direction of Elphaba's desk. "She would never," she declared, looking at Galinda.

"Who would never?" asked Pfanne, confused. 

"Elphaba," Milla explained.

"Elphaba?" ShenShen echoed.

"Elphaba," Galinda interjected, "can explain this to you. She really is a great teacher, you know."

"She would never!" repeated ShenShen.

Galinda restrained herself from smacking them in the back of their thick skulls with something extremely heavy. One of Elphaba's books would do rather nicely.

"She would," Galinda argued before dropping her voice to a whisper. The teacher didn't appear all too pleased that the four girls weren't actually paying attention. "She would, if you ask her nicely. I can convince her for you."

"We have to be _nice_ to her?" Pfanne clarified. She looked positively revolted by the suggestion.

"Yes, if you want to pass this test," retorted Galinda. "You can do as you prefer, of course. I am merely offering helpful advice. Elphaba knows this subject well."

"I suppose it makes sense." Milla looked pensive. "I heard she is the lovechild of a crazy scientist and a talking tree."

Galinda concluded she would need to do something about these rumors after all.

* * *

"No. Absolutely not." 

Elphaba couldn't believe Galinda would do something like this. Granted, Galinda had had her share of moronic ideas before, but _this_ was a whole new level of idiocy.

"But, Elphie!" Galinda whined. "I promised!"

"You _promised_?" hissed Elphaba. "You promised your friends - your friends who despise me - that I would help them pass this exam. You promised I would _study_ with them!"

"Well, yes," responded Galinda, pouting. "I don't see why you have to be so difficult about it. I was just trying to do something _nice_ for you, so you could show them that you aren't as bad as they think you are." 

_Don't look at the pout,_ thought Elphaba. _Don't look at the pout, just don't._

"Something nice for me," Elphaba echoed. Great, just _great_. Galinda had managed to turn her into a damn parrot. Not even a Parrot, just a plain, dumb, green, echoing parrot.

"Yes," Galinda sighed. Elphaba made the grave mistake of looking at Galinda. She was pouting and looked on the verge of tears.

_How does she do this?_Elphaba though miserably. She hated this, this…this _hold_ Galinda seemed to have over her. A second ago, she wanted to murder her, and now, she would agree to just about anything if it would make Galinda stop looking so miserable.

"Alright, you were trying to do something nice," Elphaba stated conciliatory. "I, however, still stand by my conviction that this has to be the _worst_ idea in Oz's history."

Elphaba sat on her bed and sighed. She knew she would probably agree to this moronic idea in the end. Still, she liked to pretend she needed to be convinced, if only to retain whatever ounce of sanity had stuck this long.

"Please, Elphie, please? For me?" begged Galinda, kneeling in front of Elphaba.

"Galinda, my sweet, your friends _hate_ me. They want to see me dead," Elphaba noted, trying to make Galinda understand. One didn't form study groups with people who would dance on her grave. It wasn't a great idea.

"They don't want to see you dead!" Galinda argued.

"But they _do _hate me." Elphaba said reasonably.

"No they don't…well, hate is _such_ a strong word, isn't it? Please, Elphie? You said you'd try for me, remember, to get along with some people?" 

Elphaba groaned and hid her face in her hands. 

"I'll do it," she finally mumbled with her face still hidden.

"What was that, Elphie?" Galinda asked softly. Hopefully.

Elphaba looked up from her hands, sighed, and repeated her earlier statement. "I'll do it."

Elphaba was awarded with the loudest squeal she had ever heard and a bone-crushing hug from Galinda. 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" squealed Galinda, bouncing. "Thank you! Oh, you'll see Elphie, this'll turn out great!"

Elphaba seriously doubted it, but it didn't really matter anymore, because Galinda was smiling -the most brilliant smile Elphaba remembered ever seeing – at her.

_How does she do this?_ thought Elphaba for the second time in twenty minutes. Galinda would simply smile at her, and instantly, Elphaba would forget about everything.

She _hated_ this.


	4. Hell is a place in Oz

**Disclaimer: **Wicked belongs to Gregory Maguire. The musical-verse belongs to Stephen Schwartz and Universal, I believe. I am but a mere fan. I own nothing. 

**A/N: **As usual, thanks to all of you who read and reviewed the last chapter, your comments make my day. :) 

Cheers to Wolfie for the quick, painless and flawless beta work.

* * *

**Chapter ****four:**

"_Hell is a place in Oz_

Elphaba used to believe she had lived a truly horrifying life: Her family hated her, the world hated her, and of course, she was green.

Trying to get Pfanne to understand chemistry, however, added an entirely new layer of meaning to the word-

"Horrors."

"What did you say, Miss Elphaba?" asked Galinda. She was sitting across from Elphaba at the table in their room with her chemistry book open in front of her. Elphabalooked exhausted

Actually, they _all_ looked exhausted. The four of them had been studying for hours, and Pfanne had yet to grasp a _single_ concept.

"Electrons," Elphaba answered. "I said 'electrons.' You need to balance the electric charges, Miss Pfanne. Remember?"

"Electric?" Pfanne looked up from her book with an expression of pure terror on her face. "What do _elec-tons_ have to do with chemistry?"

Elphaba wanted to murder her. Slowly, creatively, and, if possible, repeatedly. Then, she would murder Galinda for devising this mad torture in the first place.

"_E-lec-trons_ have a lot to do with chemistry, Miss Pfanne!" intervened Galinda, preventing Elphaba from saying something not very nice at all. 

"They have to do with chemistry because, well," Galinda frowned, "because they do! Miss Elphaba, please, explain to Miss Pfanne why electrons are important to chemistry."

Elphaba glared at her. Well, maybe she glared at her. She was so drained she wasn't sure she could even manage a decent glare.

Elphaba stopped her desperate attempt at a glare, surrendered to her fate, and started explaining to Pfanne the very basics of chemistry _again_, for time number… she had lost count about two hours ago. 

"Electrons are a vital part of chemistry." With that declaration, Elphaba began the explanation number one-hundred-too-many.

Meanwhile, Milla slept using Organic Chemistry I as a pillow. _She_ had understood what Elphaba was explaining hours ago. 

ShenShen was looking daggers at her book, as if trying to make it so afraid that the poor book would tell her everything it knew. 

Galinda, to her credit, was mainly awake. Elphaba suspected that the sheer weight of her guilt was keeping her alert.

_Oh, you _better_ stay awake,_ Elphaba thought as she droned on about electrical charges and atomic balance_. You form the very bowels of hell itself. I'm going to _slaughter_ you once this is over. As long as you don't pout or smile. Or do that thing you do when you act like yourself, making me unable to think clearly._ Elphaba frowned. _I actually pity myself._

"Do you understand _now_, Miss Pfanne?" Elphaba asked twenty minutes later as nicely as she could manage. It apparently wasn't very nice at all, because Pfanne immediately jumped to her own defense.

"Now, see here, _Miss Elphaba_! Just because you understand this nonsense doesn't mean you can start acting like you're better than me!" Pfanne shouted, pointing a manicured finger at Elphaba's face.

"And because you don't, you should act like a spoiled little _brat_?"

"Stop it you two!" Galinda stood up from her chair and rapidly positioned herself between Elphaba and Pfanne. "Look, we are all _very_ tired and tempers are running a little high. Maybe we should continue studying tomorrow."

Continuing tomorrow was the last thing Elphaba wanted. This was the third night in a row that their 'study group' had met.

Elphaba couldn't - _wouldn't_ - put up with one more night of explaining the first two chapters of Organic Chemistry I, or as Elphaba called it, Chemistry for Morons I.They hadn't even covered half of the material Pfanne had to learn to pass the test yet. 

The hellish brat was going to understand this, _tonight_. Elphaba was sure Pfanne could. She wasn't scientist material by any means, but – and it pained Elphaba to admit this- she wasn't _completely_ stupid. She just wasn't making an effort.

"I apologize, Miss Pfanne," said Elphaba through clenched teeth.

"I-" Pfanne looked nauseous, and she gripped her book tightly. "I apologize too, Miss Elphaba."

Galinda, sadistic little thing she was, looked beside herself with joy. "Oh, isn't it _wonderful _when we can all let go of our differences and be friends?"

This time, both Elphaba and Pfanne glared at her.

"Look," Elphaba sighed. "Maybe I've been doing this the wrong way. Let's try a different approach."

"Different approach?" asked Pfanne after an enormous yawn.

"Yes. We will forgo the theory for a while. Instead, let's try some exercises and see how you fare with them," Elphaba explained while flipping through her book for the simplest, idiot-proof chemistry exercise she could find.

"Here." Elphaba pointed at a page. "Try to solve this one." 

"Alright." Pfanne armed herself with a pen and began to write.

As Elphaba watched Pfanne write out a chemistry equation that was an insult to intelligent life, she wondered why in Oz's name she had let Galinda convince her to take part in this torture.

She looked at Galinda, who gave her a tired half smile.

Oh, right.

Galinda was going to be the _end_ of her.

* * *

Galinda was in the middle of a rather nice dream involving Elphaba, strawberries, and lots of pink bubbles when a scream woke her.

"I got it! I got it!" Pfanne was running around the room, waving a piece of paper like a woman possessed.

"You did?" asked Milla, rubbing her eyes. Then, Milla realized what she'd said and repeated, "You _did_?" 

"She did?" Galinda heard ShenShen ask from the place on the floor she had fallen asleep, about an hour before Galinda herself had fallen asleep.

"You did? You really, _actually_ did?" Galinda was afraid to hope she could finally go to sleep in her comfy, warm, wonderful bed. 

_Sleep, what a grand idea_! She thought._ Maybe I can continue that very nice dream_…

Galinda shook her head vigorously.

_Chemistry,_ she thought. _Chemistry is important._ _Think scientific thoughts! Atoms! Oxygen! _

Pfanne was too exhilarated to be offended by her friends' lack of trust in her, so she simply smiled proudly and said, "Yes, I did." 

She was grinning widely. Galinda thought she looked rather nice when she smiled that way.

"Of course she did," Elphaba added without a hint of sarcasm or malice. She looked like she was about to fall apart, but she also looked sort of…maybe kind of _happy_ for Pfanne.

"Congratulations, Miss Pfanne," she said. "I knew you could do it."

And that was why Galinda was so taken with Elphaba. In her own way, Elphaba was really sweet. 

She had helped her friends study, even though they had always been nothing but horrible to her, just because Galinda had asked her to. Elphaba had explained the same thing to Pfanne over and over again because she believed, even if no one else did, that the girl would understand it.

Galinda wanted to kiss her _so_ badly; she almost didn't manage to contain herself. 

The wind was cold and harsh on the way to the bar, but Galinda didn't mind. She was so happy about the success of the study group that a thing as insignificant as a little cold could not annoy her.

Galinda had managed, in yet another example of her true _greatness_, to get Elphaba to go out with her friends and her to celebrate Pfanne's success on the chemistry exam. She couldn't be happier.

To be honest, Galinda suspected Elphaba's agreeableness had something to do with the fact that she had spent the previous five nights studying with Pfanne until it was almost morning. Once Pfanne had succeeded in understanding the basic equations, they still had to make up for half a year of her not paying the least bit of attention to the subject. Therefore, while Galinda, ShenShen and Milla slept, the two of them went on for hours, doing exercise after exercise until they couldn't keep their eyes open.

When the dreaded exam day finally came, Elphaba looked like something half-dead.

When Pfanne exited the classroom with a shell-shocked expression, Elphaba looked like something _completely_ dead.

"I-" Pfanne had said, with evident disbelief. "I passed."

ShenShen had wasted no time in suggesting they go out to celebrate, and of course, Milla and Galinda had readily agreed. They had a dire need to be as far away from chemistry as they could manage.

In a truly historical moment, Pfanne had adopted a dubitative expression. Galinda had been surprised; she couldn't believe Pfanne was actually considering _not_ going out, until Pfanne spoke and it all became very clear. "Miss Elphaba?"

"Yes, Miss Pfanne?"

Pfanne clenched her fists and inhaled loudly."You can come with us." 

It hadn't exactly been a heartfelt declaration of friendship, but Galinda suspected it was the best she would get from Pfanne. Elphaba, from the place where she had been resting against a wall only half – or a quarter – awake, had sort of mumbled something Galinda had assumed was a "yes."

"Perfect! Oh, you'll see Miss Elphaba, you'll have so much fun!" Galinda had squealed, bouncing up and down.

When Elphaba had actually processed what was happening, she had awoken, albeit only slightly, and had given Galinda a look akin to a frightened rabbit.

* * *

"I believe I am not armed with the mental tools to even _try_ to comprehend why I am doing this." Elphaba's voice brought Galinda back to the present as they were about five minutes away from the bar where they had arranged to meet the others.

"Don't be difficult, Elphie." Galinda smacked Elphaba playfully on the arm. "You'll have a great time."

"I most sincerely doubt it," snorted Elphaba.

"Would it kill you to try and have fun _once_ in your life?" Galinda frowned. At least Elphaba was being difficult again. That meant she had recovered her normal level of consciousness.

"Possibly," answered Elphaba

"Elphie!" Galinda whined. "Please, _please_, try to be nice today. Please?"

Elphaba made a noncommittal sound and shrugged.

"Elphie, please." Galinda stopped walking and grabbed Elphaba by the arms. She spun her around so that they were facing each other. "I promised I would change the world for you, and I did, didn't I? I got my friends to talk to you, people don't laugh at you anymore, and some of them are even treating you nicely."

"Yes. I've been meaning to ask about that. What exactly did you _do_ to achieve this sudden change of attitude of our classmates?" Elphaba asked, narrowing her eyes.

"A lady has her secrets, Elphie." Galinda smiled mysteriously.

Elphaba just rolled her eyes and continued walking.

"Miss Galinda! Miss Galinda!" Galinda heard someone behind them shout, and she turned around.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, _no_.

"Hello…M-Miss Galinda!" Boq was panting with the effort of running to catch up with them.

"Hello, Master Boq," responded Galinda, checking for any possible escape routes. Besides her, Elphaba looked amused.

"If I may be so bold-" 

"You may not," Elphaba interjected. Boq retaliated with what Galinda suspected was _his_ version of a scathing look.

"You look beautiful tonight," Boq concluded, blushing furiously. 

"Boq, my friend, you have the natural charm of a rock," Avaric said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. He was followed closely by Fiyero.

"Hello, Miss Elphaba," Fiyero added, his eyes shining. He was smiling dumbly at Elphaba.

Elphaba looked very disturbed.

"Hello," she barked before grabbing Galinda's arm and continuing to walk.

"Wait!" called Avaric. "Where are you two going? Can we join you?"

"To the bar that's around the corner. We are meeting Misses ShenShen, Pfanne and Milla. And no, you may _not_ join us. Fiyero, however, is welcome to," answered Galinda.

Avaric made a big show of being hurt, and Fiyero kept staring dumbly at Elphaba with that smile which Galinda didn't like at _all_. Elphaba apparently didn't like it either, because she looked extremely uncomfortable. 

Boq frowned at the realization that he was being ignored by Galinda. He opened his mouth to say something, but Avaric beat him to it. "Perfect! Led the way, Miss Galinda!" He put one arm around Boq and smirked. "Who knows? If ShenShen is in a mood, I may even score tonight!"

"Avaric, _honestly_!" said Fiyero, aghast. "They are ladies present!" He indicated Elphaba with a wave of his hand.

Avaric looked confused.

Elphaba glared at him, said nothing, and then turned around and walked away. 

"Don't worry Miss Galinda!" Galinda heard Boq shout as she was jogging to catch up to Elphaba. "We are right behind you!"

* * *

"Galinda" Elphaba said as they were about to reach the bar. She could hear Avaric and Boq laughing at something Fiyero had said a few meters away.

"Yes?" Galinda asked. 

"I loathe you." 

"No you don't," Galinda giggled. "Now, come on, you green thing. The world is changed and ready for you. You just need to enter it."

Finally, they reached the bar. Elphaba put her head against the door and sighed.

"I do. I hate you." She banged her head against the door. "I hate you, I hate you."

Galinda simply smiled and took Elphaba's hand to lead her inside.

* * *

**A/N The Second: **Next chapter is going to take a little longer than usual, since right now I have no power, no phone and no water in my house thanks to an apocalyptic storm. Isn't that _nice_? 


	5. Lemons and melons and pears

Disclaimer: Wicked Belongs to Gregory Maguire

**Disclaimer: **Wicked Belongs to Gregory Maguire. The musical verse belongs to Stephen Schwartz and Universal, I believe. I am but a mere fan. I own nothing.

**A/N: **Well, my fellow Gelphians, chapter five is here. Could you be happier? Of course not. Because happy is what happens…yeah. I'll stop now.

As usual, thanks for reading and reviewing, you guys rock. Seriously.

Last but not least, this chapter was made readable by Wolfie. Thanks, Wolfie!

* * *

**Chapter ****five:**

"_Lemons and melons__ and pears"_

* * *

The bar was full when Galinda and Elphaba, followed closely by Fiyero, Boq and Avaric, entered. There were various groups of Shiz's students laughing and drinking, some couples, and some people Galinda didn't recognize. There were about six or seven tables, a small stage where Galinda had seen a local band play once or twice, and some boys were sitting at the bar by themselves, scanning the crowd in hopes of having a stroke of luck.

It was hot, crowded, and noisy; everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. Galinda was elated: _This_ was life- Shiz life.

She beamed at Elphaba. "Isn't this _nice_?" She grabbed Elphaba's arm and bounced a little.

"No," Elphaba curtly replied.

Galinda pouted, but then spotted the girls and decided she would reschedule her temper tantrum.

"You took your time, Miss Galinda," was Pfanne's way of greeting them when they reached the table.

"Yes!" added ShenShen, banging her empty glass loudly on the table. "We've been waiting for hours!" Galinda could have believed her, for she certainly sounded as if she _had_ been drinking for hours.

"Oh, but they are already making up for it. Look," said Milla, motioning with her head to Avaric and Fiyero, who were dodging girls trying to make their way towards Galinda and Elphaba. "They brought boys."

Pfanne and ShenShen immediately forgot their previous displeasure with the pair and waved to the boys.

"Great, just _great_," muttered Elphaba, looking more and more miserable with each passing second.

Galinda thought that was rather rude of her: she should be having _fun_. Or at least, she could make an effort to _pretend_ she was having fun, as all of Galinda's former crushes had done whenever Galinda talked.

"Hush you," Galinda whispered discretely to her before plastering a huge smile on her face and addressing her friends. "We did bring the boys. Aren't we _incredibly_ thoughtful?"

"You are indeed," Avaric interjected as he dragged a chair to the table. "Wouldn't be a celebration whitout me, now, would it?"

"Elphaba, do you mind if I sit here?" Fiyero was setting a chair next to Elphaba's.

Elphaba closed her eyes tightly, mumbled something that sounded suspiciously similar to "Damn Galinda," and nodded her head slightly. Fiyero smiled widely and sat.

"Where's Boq?" inquired Galinda, noticing the absence of the Munchkin.

"I don't know." Avaric looked around the bar. After a few seconds, Boq emerged from the crowd. "Oh, there he is! Boq, old fella, where were you?"

"You slammed the door in my face," answered Boq. Now that Galinda actually paid attention to him, she noticed he was trying to wipe some blood off his nose with the cuff of his sleeve.

"I did? Uhm…well, sorry about that." Avaric stood up. "So, what's everyone drinking?"

Everyone told Avaric what they wanted. Everyone, that is, but Elphaba.

"Hey, green stuff, what are you drinking?" He waved a hand in front of her face.

"_Green stuff?"_

"Hey, easy there. We're all friends here, aren't we?" Avaric held his hands in the air and backed away from Elphaba slowly, as if dealing with a wild lion. Or Lion.

"Friends," Elphaba said. She fell on her chair with an audible _thump. _"Of course! How dense of me. Friends." Elphaba laughed loudly.

Galinda found it frightening. Elphaba looked, well, she looked deranged.

"Yes. So, um…about that drink?" Avaric asked cautiously.

"Quadling beer," Elphaba answered.

"Wow," gasped ShenShen.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Fiyero concernedly inquired.

"If you have a death wish, there are better ways to go, Miss Elphaba," Boq added quietly.

Elphaba frowned. She turned to look at Galinda.

"What's wrong with Quadling beer?" she asked, genuinely confused.

_She looks so cute_ Galinda thought_. So, so cute._

She realized Elphaba was actually expecting her to say something, so she did her best to focus. What were they talking about, again?

"Nothing wrong, _per se_," she elaborated, after having somewhat regained her focus. "But in Gillikin, we use it to sedate cows."

"Oh." Elphaba looked down, appearing to be deep in thought before saying, "I still want it."

"One Quadling Beer for you, coming right away," Avaricsaid, looking extremely impressed. He disappeared towards the bar. Fiyero was still regarding Elphaba worriedly, and Boq…well, Boq was doing what he did best: He was staring at Galinda with unabashed adoration.

ShenShen, Milla and Pfanne looked rather put out by the fact nobody was paying attention to them.

The evening progressed nicely. Avaric flirted with ShenShen, Boq told Galinda she was beautiful and wonderful at least seven times, they all –incredibly, 'all' included Elphaba- drank obscene amounts of beer.

At some point during the third – or fourth, Galinda wasn't sure- round of drinks, Galinda noticed Fiyero trying to engage Elphaba in conversation, and Elphaba trying to steer her chair as far away from him as she could manage.

Galinda, for her part, was having serious difficulties with herself. Her focus had slipped completely from her grasp, and she didn't seem to be able to regain it.

_Elphaba__, looking cute and confused. Elphaba inviting Galinda to dance with her. Elphaba putting her hands on Galinda's hip and pressing their bodies together. Elphaba whispering something in her ear as they danced. Elphaba kissing her. Elphaba-_

Galinda almost groaned out loud. She was going to have to ask for something stronger than beer to drink.

* * *

_I'm surrounded by idiots,_ thought Elphaba as she watched the train wreck that was this celebration take place before her eyes.

Avaric, who had gotten incredibly drunk, was trying to seduce ShenShen by telling dirty jokes. The only thing Avaric had managed so far, though, was to get ShenShen redder and angrier with each joke he told.

"- they both make women cry!" Avaric laughed raucously. Elphaba noted that no one else seemed to find his joke funny.

"That's disgus'in, Master Avaric," said Galinda, trying to give Avaric a stern gaze. Sadly, with Galinda's own state of inebriation, it didn't really work out.

Avaric simply shrugged and took a long drink of his beer.

"Galinda is right. Your joke was inshultin'!" Pfanne tried to poke Avaric in the shoulder, but she used the wrong hand, and her drink spilled all over the table.

"Miss Galinda, I can tell you a joke if you want. I know some really good ones!" Boq smiled eagerly to Galinda, who just rolled her eyes. Before she could say anything to rebuke him, however, everyone in the table started talking at the same time.

"She doshen't!" cried Milla.

"Would you jus' _quit_ _it_? It's drivin' ev'ryone insane!" said Pfanne.

"Mate, give ittup. It's sad, honest." Avaric patted the top of Boq's head.

"It really is," Fiyero quipped.

_Idiots_.

_Unnamed God,_ Elphaba silently prayed for the first time in her life._ I know I've never actually believed in you, but if you save me from this torture, I _swear_ I will devote my remaining years to religious study. I'll even join my father in his ministerial missions. Which wouldn't be easy, considering he hates me._

While Boq quietly sobbed, Galinda turned to Elphaba.

"Having fun, Elphaba?" she asked. Elphaba thought Galinda seemed five minutes away from falling asleep on the table.

Elphaba was about to answer with something along the lines of, "No, you blonde imbecile, I am not. Can't you see I'm _suffering_ unmentionable torments here?" but then, Galinda took Elphaba's hand under the table and smiled sleepily. The words stuck in Elphaba's throat.

This night had been entirely too much for her. Avaric, trying to joke with her and buying her beer. Boq, shyly asking if she knew which flowers were Galinda's favorites. ShenShen actually laughing – albeit after a few beers too many – at something she said.

Well, at least Pfanne was still looking at Elphaba with badly covered disgust.

Elphaba thought that finding Pfanne's disgust towards her comforting was a sure sign that she had finally lost her mind.

The absolute worst part of the night, however, had been Galinda and Fiyero. _They_ had most definitely lost their minds.

Fiyero had been unnervingly strange the whole night. He had always been a charmer and a talker, but tonight he had seemed, well… _desperate_ for Elphaba to talk to him. Throughout the night, he had tried every topic possible to try and engage Elphaba in conversation:

"So, Doctor Dillamond is a good teacher, don't you think?"

"Yes."

"That mathematics exam was really challenging. How do you think you fared?"

"Well enough."

"You and Galinda seem to be getting along nicely."

"We do."

"Do you like dogs or cats? I had a puppy when I was a kid. His name was Rudo."

"I like Animals."

Finally, after a few more seemingly desperate, and definitely very drunk attempts, ("The weatherrr's rather cold this time of the year here in Sshiz, iddinit?") he had given up, turned around and muttered miserably, "_You_ like me, you pretty blonde, you. You do, don't you? Why, yes, I _am_ a Prince," to his beer.

Elphaba had been truly baffled. Had Fiyero _misplaced_ his brain? What in the bloody name of Oz was happening to the people at Shiz?

Of course, she who could never be outshined, had been even worse. Luckily for Elphaba, Galinda hadn't attempted to drag her into conversations about childhood pets, of all things. Galinda had been contented with occasionally whispering crazy-talk in Elphaba's ear.

"I think your hair looks beautiful down: It so glossy and black and _nice._"

"I think ShenShen has stupid teeth."

"I think you would look nice in a purple hat. I will buy you a new hat."

"Would you come shopping with me if it was to buy your purple hat?"

It only got worse as the evening wore on and as Galinda drank more and more fruity colorful drinks. On top of the mad delusions of shopping for hats, she got incredibly, well, _touchy_.

She would hold Elphaba's hand. Elphaba would give Galinda's hand a light squeeze and then let go. Galinda would put her hand on Elphaba's knee. Elphaba would take Galinda's hand and put it on her _own_ knee.

Elphaba decided that wherever Fiyero's brain was, it probably was in the company of Galinda's, having a grand time. Elphaba chuckled softly at the image that suddenly sprung to life in her mind: two brains sitting side by side, enjoying a romantic picnic in the candlelight.

Elphaba's fantasy was cut short when she felt Galinda tug at the sleeve of her dress.

"I'm sleepy Elphie-eaba," Galinda yawned. "Can we go home?"

Galinda put her hand on Elphaba's thighs, and when Boq noticed and frowned, Elphaba flushed a very dark green.

She was never, ever, letting Galinda drink again.

* * *

Elphaba was _definitely_ never letting Galinda drink again. Actually, she was considering if she should even let Galinda live to see another day.

"Galinda, if you don't help me at least a little, we are never going to reach the room."

Galinda mumbled something unintelligible against Elphaba's chest. Elphaba tried to pry herself away from Galinda's body so she could understand what Galinda was saying, but the blonde had her arms around Elphaba's waist and was clinging to her for dear life.

For a girl so tiny and who looked so fragile, Galinda was surprisingly strong.

_I would__n't mind the clinging if she would actually help me out a little and freaking walk! __Wait. No. I would still mind the clinging. I would. I- Oh, Oz._

"Galinda, my sweet," Elphaba whispered in Galinda's ear while gently stroking her hair. "I need you to walk. We are just a few minutes away from our room. Please walk for me a little? I promise you'll be in your bed in no time."

Galinda looked up without letting go of Elphaba; her eyes were glassy and disoriented.

"You too?" she asked.

"Yes, I'll be in my bed too. Now, walk."

"That's not what I meant!" Galinda replied angrily.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What did you mean, my sweet?" Elphaba's confusion about this whole night wasn't getting any better at all.

She was getting so tired of being confused all the time.

"Never mind, 's not important," Galinda announced, letting go of Elphaba's waist with an affronted air. She promptly stumbled and fell on her butt.

Elphaba cackled. Galinda shot her an angry look.

Elphaba shook her head and, still laughing softly, knelt in front of Galinda.

"Did that hurt?" she asked. Galinda bit her bottom lip and nodded.

"Well, it's evident that you are in no state to walk," Elphaba said, turning around so that Galinda was facing her back.

"Hop on."

"Elphie! You're givin' me a piggyback ride?" Galinda actually _clapped_. Elphaba marveled at how child-like Galinda could be. It was incredibly amusing.

Actually, if she was to be completely honest with herself, it was rather adorable.

"Yes. Now, hop. I want to get to my bed sometime this week."

Galinda wasted no time and hopped on Elphaba's back with an exited "Yay!"

* * *

Elphaba discovered that carrying Galinda was more difficult than she had expected.

It wasn't because of Galinda's weight, even though she _was_ a bit heavy for Elphaba. It was the fact that Galinda had fallen asleep, and her warmth, rhythmic breath was tickling Elphaba's neck, making it hard for Elphaba to think, never mind actually try to walk in a straight line.

The frightening thing, though, was that Elphaba didn't mind. In a way, she even liked it.

Elphaba wondered, not for the first time, what the _hell_ Galinda was doing to her.


	6. If you don’t know by now

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, nothing, and nothing.

**A/N:** Hello there darlings! This one took a while, didn't it? Never fear, I promise Chapter 7 will be faster.

As always, thank you, thank you to all of you who read and reviewed, you guys win at life. And, of course, thanks to my wonderful Beta Wolfie, for the typo hunting and grammar polishing.

This chapter has a small reference to an amazing work of fanfiction, whoever catches it wins a gold star! ( it's pretty easy, but not from this fandom)

Oh! on a completely random note: I've been listening to the German wicked recordings. Isn't Willemijn Verkaik _freaking awesome_? I _so_ want to learn German now.

* * *

**Chapter ****six:**

"_If you don't know by now"_

* * *

Galinda awoke to a terrible headache and an annoying realization: Elphaba was not in their room.

_Strange__,_ Galinda thought as she slowly and painfully regained consciousness. _What can Elphie be doing on a Saturday morning -afternoon - that's more important than being here with me?_

Galinda got up, became dizzy and nauseous, vowed never to drink anything alcoholic ever again at least five times, and went to take a bath.

While Galinda relaxed and let the warm water work its magic, she tried to organize her thoughts of the previous evening. She vaguely recalled Fiyero talking to Elphaba, Boq telling a joke about a Turtle, a cat, a Prince and a Minister, drinks of all the colors of the rainbow, Pfanne – or was it ShenShen? – telling her that the way Elphaba's skin kept changing from green to pale green to dark green was funny, Avaric being his normal, annoying, arrogant self, and Elphaba being her normal, annoying, grumpy self.

From what she could remember, the night had been a complete success. She, Galinda Upland, best friend extraordinaire, had actually managed to get Elphaba into a bar!

Elphaba. Where was Elphaba, anyway? She should be here, helping Galinda get rid of this stupid headache, not wherever it was that Elphaba went when she wasn't with Galinda.

Galinda scowled at her bubbles.

_I'm much more interesting than a stuffy old library! _

In the middle of her second hair wash, Galinda realized it didn't actually matter where Elphaba was anyway, because Galinda was _mad_ at her.

* * *

Elphaba spent most of her morning in the library reading psychology and medicine books. She read for hours and hours, while other students came and went.

Her research, however, was proving to be fruitless.

Nevertheless, she wasn't about to give up. She had to find some sort of explanation for Galinda's recent demented behavior _somewhere_ in this. If the library didn't have the answers to her questions, well, she might lose the little faith she still had in the world.

While the librarian behind her table rearranged some books on the shelves, Elphaba took her notebook and re-read what she'd listed as Galinda's symptoms:

_1) Fever__ish appearance: Flushed cheeks, sweaty hands._

_2) Disorientation. __Often gets lost in her thoughts._

_3) Constant need of physical nearness._

_4) Troubled sleep._

_5) Increased –_

_Ugh. __This isn't helping at all,_ Elphaba thought as she put the notebook aside. She considered taking a break from her research and going back to her room, but decided to avoid Galinda for a little while longer.

She grabbed a book at random from the enormous mountain she had formed on the table and started reading again.

After half an hour of useless, and quite frankly, _disturbing_ reading, Elphaba was getting tired and frustrated again. Her eyes hurt from the hours of nonstop studying, her back ached, and she _hadn't found a single answer_. For the first time in her life, Elphaba found that a book could not solve her problems.

She closed Adolescent Trauma: The Road To Recovery with a sigh. She took off her glasses her rubbed her weary eyes.

This wasn't going anywhere. Clearly, Galinda wasn't suffering from psychological trauma. She didn't have Pneumonia, Yellow fever, Vinkus pox, or – Elphaba checked her notebook - Sesquipedalophobia, either.

Galinda's recent behavior was evidently related to something else. The question was: To _what_?

Maybe she had been having trouble with her classes? With her family? With her friends? Elphaba didn't find any of those scenarios possible. After all, Galinda _always_ had trouble with her classes, and never before had it seemed to bother her. The only news Galinda ever received from her parents were gifts and nauseating letters full of love and cutesy nicknames like 'princess'. Galinda had seemed perfectly at ease with her friends the previous night at the bar.

Elphaba's musings were interrupted by someone calling her name.

"Elphaba, what a pleasant surprise!" Fiyero said, appearing between the stacks of books.

Great, just _great_. Fiyero was here.

What was Fiyero doing in a library, anyway? Was this some sort of conspiracy to make Elphaba lose her mind?

Elphaba was about to send him off as nicely as possible. She liked Fiyero, most of the time. Or she _had_ liked him, when he was dating Galinda and was his normal empty-headed self.

"Elphaba? Hello?"

Then, it hit her. Fiyero had dated Galinda. He probably had talked to her about friends, school troubles, and family. He should be able to help her discover what was happening to Galinda and why she was acting so exceedingly peculiar. Or, at least, he would be able to guide her in the right direction.

In any case, Elphaba realized she needed all the help she could get. Alone with her books and medical journals, she was sinking fast.

_Perfect. _Elphaba closed her notebook and smiled_._

"Hello, Fiyero," she said. "It is a pleasant surprise for me too."

Fiyero beamed.

_What is it with the__se __people and cheeriness?_

* * *

Fiyero was convinced that Elphaba had to be the most interesting girl he had ever met. She was smart, funny, mysterious, beautiful, green, and had class and poise.

And she wouldn't care if he dropped dead.

"Did you have a good time last night?" he asked, trying to smile charmingly. It had never seemed to work with Elphaba before, but he tried anyway.

"It was…an experience." Elphaba looked like she wanted to say something else, but didn't, so Fiyero continued the conversation himself.

"I had a wonderful time, I think," he told her. He honestly didn't remember much of the previous night beyond the fourth round of drinks. He had the distinct impression, however, that he had made a complete fool of himself trying to charm Elphaba with his witty conversation.

When Elphaba didn't say anything after a few seconds, he started to feel as though the sheer awkwardness of the situation was going to drown him if he didn't do something soon.

The problem was that he didn't know _what_ to do. This had never happened to him before. Girls loved him; they had always loved him. He never had to work for their attention. He just had to think long enough to decide which beautiful, popular girl he was going to date.

What was he supposed to do to get Elphaba to notice him?

Feeling completely out of his depth, he smiled his best smile at Elphaba. It was the only thing he could think of doing.

Well, the only _appropriate_ thing he could think of doing.

Elphaba _still_ looked uncomfortable, but she responded with a cautious half smile.

"Fiyero?" she asked quietly, after a few more moments of awkward silence.

Fiyero would later think he'd imagined the whole thing, but at that moment, Elphaba seemed nervous. Also, Fiyero was convinced she was blushing.

Fiyero immediately perked up. Maybe Elphaba wasn't uncomfortable! Maybe she was nervous! Maybe she was interested in him after all, but didn't know how to tell him!

This was wonderful.

"Yes?" He leaned closer to Elphaba, his tone soft and his smile still firmly in place and perfectly charming.

Elphaba looked _alarmed_ at his actions, which made him feel a little less sure of himself.

"I need your help with something," she said.

Fiyero tried to make his smile, though it seemed impossible, wider and more charming.

"Anything. _Anything,_" he whispered.

Then, looking even more alarmed and uncomfortable, Elphaba moved her chair away from him so quickly that she almost fell to the floor.

He lost all of his self confidence immediately.

"It's about Galinda," Elphaba informed him. Needless to say, he promptly deflated completely.

He should have known.

Of course it was about Galinda. Wasn't _everything_ always about Galinda?

* * *

Elphaba found that Fiyero was of little use to her. Aside from his eagerness to help with '_anything'_, he, like all the books she had read, wasn't able to give her any answers.

"Maybe she had a fight with one of her friends?"

"They seemed perfectly amicable yesterday," Elphaba surmised. However, she mused internally, her knowledge of sociable interactions wasperhaps a bit lacking.

"Yes, of course they _seemed_ amicable, but you know how girl friendships are," Fiyero said. Elphaba arched an eyebrow in question.

"They can hate each other," he explained, "and still seem as if they are the best of friends. And then, at the first opportunity, stab each other in the back."

"You think that's the case?" Elphaba asked, unsure.

"I don't know. Maybe Galinda and one of her friends like the same boy?" Fiyero wondered as he flipped through one of Elphaba's medical books. "Galinda was a bit strange yesterday. Maybe it had to do with Avaric flirting with ShenShen?"

_Aha__!_

Elphaba smiled. Finally, Fiyero had given her valuable information. This had something to do with boys. It was so simple that Elphaba laughed at her own stupidity. Of _course_ it had something to do with boys.

Wasn't everything _always_ about boys?

Elphaba bolted from her chair, ready to solve her problem once and for all. Apparently, she was a bit abrupt. Fiyero jumped in surprise and fell from his place at the table.

"Fiyero," Elphaba said while she picked her things up from the library table. "This conversation has been most helpful. Thank you."

"You're leaving? I'll walk you to your room." Fiyero extended his arm in Elphaba's direction, and she assumed he was offering it for Elphaba to take.

Instead of doing _that_, Elphaba filled Fiyero's arms with so many books that he could hardly move.

"Thank you," she said. "I'll need some help getting these books to my room."

Fiyero scowled fiercely at the books, and then shrugged. That, Elphaba thought, was a poorly calculated choice, since it caused two books to fall from his arms. This, of course, brought forth more scowling.

Elphaba chuckled. "Are you sure you can handle all that knowledge?" she asked.

"Yes, yes." He picked the books up from the floor, carefully balancing the other ten that were in his arms, and smiled at her. "After all, needs must."

Elphaba didn't know what he meant by that, but found herself smiling in return.

Fiyero wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

When Elphaba finally returned to their room, Galinda was just about ready to die from simple, utter boredom.

"_Where _have you_ been_?" Galinda snapped as soon as Elphaba crossed the threshold.

"In the library," Elphaba answered simply, an eyebrow rising impossibly high. If Elphaba sensed Galinda's anger, she certainly didn't show it.

Galinda grew madder still.

Elphaba, paying no mind to Galinda's huffing and arm-crossing, turned to the door and said, "You can come in," to someone outside.

When Galinda saw Fiyero walking through the door, looking as if he couldn't be happier and carrying what appeared to be Elphaba's books, Galinda almost punched him in the face.

What was Fiyero doing with Elphaba, _her Elphie_, carrying her books and smiling like an _idiot_?

"Fiyero! What a nice thing to do, helping Elphaba with her books!" Galinda exclaimed cheerily. After all, even if she did want to cause Fiyero severe pain, it was no reason for her to lose her manners.

She just had to make sure Elphaba never, ever, _ever_ paid attention to him.

"It was nothing," Fiyero said. His face, however, disagreed with that statement. He was flushed with the effort of carrying the pile of huge, obscure books Elphaba favored, and his cheeks were glossy with the slightest hint of sweat.

"Where do I put these?" he asked, still smiling his stupid smile.

When Elphaba answered, "Just leave them on the table," smiling back at him, a voice in Galinda's mind yelled, "They're smiling at each other! _Do something!"_

At a loss, Galinda did the only thing she could think of. Stepping between Elphaba and Fiyero, she grabbed two books from Elphaba's arms.

"I'll help you!" Galinda announced, delivering a smile so wide it could easily match Fiyero stupid one.

"Oh, thank you. But there's no-"

"I'll. Help. You," Galinda growled in response to Elphaba's unfinished rebuke.

"I- Yes. Of course. Help away."

When Elphaba's absurd mountain of books was settled on the table, Galinda noticed that Elphaba and Fiyero were still standing much too close.

Galinda though her situation was most unfair.

After all, if Elphaba had to decide to suddenly bond with Fiyero, couldn't she at least have had the simple _decency_ of doing it somewhere else rather than the stupid library? Somewhere Galinda could have been present to put an immediate end to it?

"Well, I guess I should go now," Fiyero said, smiling at Elphaba. It was as though Galinda wasn't in the room at all, or as if Galinda didn't even exist.

"Maybe, uhm, you would like to go drink something? Coffee?" Fiyero asked Elphaba.

"_They're still smiling. Make it _stop!" the voice in Galinda's brain _screeched_. Galinda was disturbed to find that the voice sounded very much like Madame Morrible's.

The only sensible course of action Galinda could think of was getting Elphaba as far away from Fiyero as she could manage. That, of course, included thwarting any plans for coffee drinking.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Fiyero. But _Elphie_ and I already have plans," Galinda said, gently grabbing Elphaba's arm, her voice as sweet as saffron cream.

"We do?" was Elphaba's perplexed reply.

"Did I forget to mention it? I need to buy a new pair of shoes."

"That plan doesn't sound like it needs my presence," remarked Elphaba reasonably.

"But Elphie, I need you to help me choose!" Galinda pouted.

"All right, all right." Elphaba sighed and rubbed her temples. "Thank you for the offer Fiyero, but it seems I already have plans."

Urged by an impulse Galinda could not control, she stood on her tip-toes and kissed Elphaba on the cheek.

"Thank you," Galinda whispered against Elphaba's cheek, just loud enough for Fiyero to hear.

Elphaba blushed an impossible shade of dark green.

* * *

Halfway through her shopping spree, Galinda had remembered she was mad at Elphaba. This, of course, puzzled Elphaba to no end.

"Galinda, if you brought me shopping with you, only so you could ignore me, I must say that isn't very nice of you."

Galinda didn't dignify Elphaba's statement with an answer. She went to pay for her new pair of obscenely expensive, uncomfortable looking yellow shoes instead.

As Galinda and the shop employee traded pleasantries, Elphaba fumed.

Honestly, this was absurd. First, Galinda acted all strange and _tactile_, utterly embarrassing Elphaba. And now, she was angry at Elphaba for no reason at all.

_Sweet Oz,_ Elphaba though. _Galinda should have come with an instruction manual! _

"Have I done something to upset you?" Elphaba's irritation evidently showed, because Princess Galinda _finally_ deigned to answer.

"Yes."

Well, at least Galinda was talking.

"May I ask what it is that I've done?" Elphaba quietly asked, trying to keep her annoyance in check. Now that she had gotten Galinda to talk to her, she didn't want to cause Galinda to be silent - and sulky - for another hour.

"If you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you," Galinda said, and her chin got so high, Elphaba feared she might crack her neck.

Galinda put the bag with her new shoes in Elphaba's arms and stormed out of the shop.

Elphaba was about to follow her when she saw a boy she knew from Psychics class give her a sympathetic look. He, like her, also had his arms full of bags. And he, like her, was being dragged around the shop by a pretty girl.

"_I understand__,"_ his gaze seemed to say. But when Elphaba was about to get close enough to ask him what was thathe understood and if he could _please_ explain it to her, Galinda appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"Elphaba," she hissed, grabbing Elphaba's arm in a vice-grip. "We need to go."

Noticing that somehow, she had managed to anger Galinda again, Elphaba let herself be dragged out of the shop without argument.

Out of the corner of her eye, Elphaba saw the boy mouth, "_Flowers,_" to her.

There was no questioning it anymore. Everyone in Shiz had gone completely, utterly insane.

* * *

Galinda had the nagging suspicion that Elphaba had been dropped on her head as a child.

"Galinda, please, tell me what it is that I've done to upset you," Elphaba pleaded for the fifth time.

"No," was Galinda's answer, like it had been the previous four times.

"Then, for whatever it is I've done, I ask forgiveness."

Galinda didn't want to forgive Elphaba yet. It wasn't only that Elphaba had been clearly flirting with Fiyero. Galinda had been mad at Elphaba before that.

Galinda thought her anger was most easy to understand if one hadn't been dropped on one's head as a child.

Elphaba had done nothing. _Nothing_. Galinda had changed the world for her, she had made her popular, Galinda alone had created the perfect environment for Elphaba to ask her out. And yet, Elphaba _had done nothing!_

When Elphaba gently grabbed her hand to spin her around and angrily asked, "Can you at least _answer_ me?" something dawned on Galinda.

Galinda had assumed any romantic relationship she could have with Elphaba would progress as any of her previous liaisons did. Elphaba would want her, and as soon as she had the opportunity, she would ask Galinda out.

Galinda had not considered the possibility that she would have to _make_ Elphaba want her. Granted, she had anticipated flirting and flouncing, but she had expected Elphaba would initiate things.

As it was, Galinda realized she had yet to actually _seduce_ Elphaba.

"Galinda, are you even hearing me?"

"Yes, Elphie. I heard you," Galinda said. "You are forgiven."

Elphaba gave a sigh of relief and smiled.

"Thank you," she said. "Someday, though, you'll have to explain to me what it was I did that needed to be forgiven."

"Don't worry," Galinda giggled as she intertwined her fingers with Elphaba's. "Someday, you'll understand."

Galinda kissed Elphaba on the cheek, and when Elphaba predictably blushed, but continued to hold Galinda's hand, Galinda smiled inwardly.

Elphaba had no idea what she was in store for.


	7. Of new plans and helpful advice

**Disclaimer: **Wicked is not mine. Never has been, never will be.

**A/N:** Chapter seven is here for you, my wonderful readers. I could tell you again how awesome you all are for reading and reviewing, but surely, you know already just how awesome you are.

You know who's even more awesome, though? My Beta, Wolfie. If life were a musical (_I wish_) I would be singing "Wind beneath my wings" about now.

* * *

**Chapter seven:**

"Of new plans, helpful advice and red dresses"

* * *

Elphaba spent the following week trying to discretely observe Galinda. She had decided, after careful planning, that the best way to find out who it was that Galinda had a crush on was to observe, gather evidence, and form a conclusion. Her preliminary list included fourteen boys whom Galinda frequently interacted with.

Originally, it had included fifteen, but Elphaba had considered the prospect of Galinda having a crush on Boq so laughable that she scratched him out almost instantly after having written his name.

Elphaba had been as close to happy as she could be. She had a plan; she was doing something. She believed her plan to be, while not exactly brilliant, better than Fiyero's suggestion ("You could just ask her, you know.") and had was sure it would help her solve Galinda's problem.

Her enterprise proved to be a task much more challenging than she had expected, though.

Take the day before, for example. Elphaba had been trying to spy on Galinda while the latter flirted with some boy or other on the school grounds. Notebook in hand and carefully positioned in a spot where she could not be seen – or so she had thought,- Elphaba had been ready to note Galinda's interaction with Boy Number Seven.

Naturally, as per usual when dealing with Galinda Upland, her plans had been ruined.

"Miss Galinda, uh…why is Miss Elphaba hiding behind a rock with binoculars?" Boy Number Seven had asked. From the distance, Elphaba could not decide if he sounded bemused or scared.

It was then that it occurred to Elphaba that perhaps the binoculars had been a bit too much.

"Elphie!" Galinda, of course, had wasted no time in running to Elphaba and throwing her arms around her. "There you are! I've been looking for you all day!"

While Elphaba tried frantically to hide her notebook from Galinda's pretty blue eyes, the blond rubbed Elphaba's back gently.

"I've been missing your gorgeous green tones, Elphie," Galinda had said in that strange sort of... _purring_ tone she favored lately.

Boy Number Seven had given Elphaba a look of pure loathing that she found oddly comforting and left the pair alone.

"Galinda, your friend is leaving."

"Let him leave, then. It doesn't matter. _You_ are here now."

Elphaba would have said something in return, but Galinda had been rubbing circles with her thumb on Elphaba's back, and the sun was much too hot, and her head was reeling, and – well, she hadn't been able to find any words.

And so, Elphaba had discovered that to add to her rather noticeable – well, _green _- nature, she was apparently a natural fluke in the art of stealth. Thus, whenever Elphaba was near, Galinda would automatically know. Which meant that Elphaba's plan to discretely investigate who the boy that was making Galinda insane was, once again, was a complete failure.

* * *

_I will need to change tactics_, Elphaba decided during her history class after a few days of frustrating investigation. Observing Galinda was, obviously, not an option.

She _had _to do something, nevertheless: Lately, Galinda's behavior had worsened. Elphaba believed she was about two days away from losing her mind. For good.

"Elphie, do you think I look pretty in this dress?" Galinda would question, batting her eyelashes.

"You look pretty in anything, Galinda," Elphaba would answer, partly because it was true, and partly because Galinda would smile so brilliantly when she was complimented by Elphaba that the green girl couldn't resist.

"Elphie, would you walk me to class?" Galinda would ask, in the strange voice and with her blue eyes wide open in plea.

"Sure," Elphaba would say because, as she had recently discovered, when Galinda looked at her like that, she was powerless.

"Elphie, come sit with me."

And Elphaba would.

"Elphie, your hair looks beautiful in the sunshine."

And Elphaba wouldn't contradict her, even though she knew it wasn't true.

"Elphie, would you hold my hand?"

And Elphaba would, even if it made her terribly embarrassed and their fellow students – though mostly the boys – would look at her as if they would like nothing more than to see her six feet under.

"Elphie, do this."

"Elphie, do that."

And Elphaba would, and Elphaba would.

_Boq would be __so proud of me, _Elphaba noted angrily to herself.

Whatever or _whoever _was making Galinda act this way had to stop. This new Galinda was wreaking havoc on Elphaba. She couldn't think. Well, she could, but not of much else but Galinda. And she was feeling…_things_. Horrible things. Butterflies and knots and pounding hearts, and-

Elphaba shook her head.

She _had _to discover who this boy was- this boy who was making Galinda so...unbalanced.

Elphaba was convinced that some dense, little imbecile had caught Galinda's eye, and the _moron _was simply too obtuse to notice, therefore turning Galinda into a needy, clingy, gorgeous, blonde mess. It was the only explanation that made sense. If the boy in question knew Galinda was interested in him, he would ask her out.

_Anyone _would ask Galinda out.

She would discover who this dimwitted simpleton was. Whoever he was, Elphaba would find him, and she would make sure he _never _got his dirty litt-

She would make sure he asked Galinda out. Yes, she would.

_Who is he, Galinda? _Elphaba wondered as she absentmindedly doodled on her notebook.

"Miss Thropp, would you be so kind to share with the class what's so interesting?" Doctor Dillamond said, bringing Elphaba back to reality.

"I'm sorry, sir?" Elphaba asked, surprised and not quite sure as to what he was referring to.

"I asked you a question, Miss Thropp, and you were so entranced by your notebook that you didn't answer." Dillamond's tone was firm, and yet, still gentle.

Elphaba noticed most of her classmates were trying, with various degrees of success, to stifle laughs. She frowned, looked down at her notebook, and was horrified to discover that she had filled an entire page with nothing but Galinda's name.

_Galinda. Guh-Linda. Galinda. Galinda. __Ga. Ga. Galinda._

And so on.

If Elphaba wasn't already colorful enough, she might have turned red from head to toes right there. In addition to that, the next thing she noted was that she had drawn a _heart_.

"Miss Thropp?"

"N-nothing interesting, Sir. I'm sorry., Elphaba stammered, closing her notebook shut with as much force as she could without drawing attention, or drawing even _more_ attention to herself. All of a sudden, she felt like a five-year-old being scolded by her father again. A very dumb, very embarrassed, very green five-year-old.

_Note to self, _thought Elphaba while Doctor Dillamond continued his explanation of the Gillikin wars_. Buy new notebook. Burn this one as soon as possible._

* * *

_Sweet Lurline! For someone supposedly so smart, you are really slow, Elphie, _Galinda mused as she walked to the café.

Galinda had been just about ready to give up. She had done _everything _she could think of to seduce Elphaba.

She had told Elphaba she was beautiful, she had asked Elphaba to walk her to class, she had grinned, batted her eyelashes, and pouted so much that her whole face hurt; she had laughed at Elphaba's jokes, she had held Elphaba's hand, and she had even read one of Elphaba's books – actually, it was only a chapter and she had only understood maybe five or six words, but she had _read_ – to have something smart to talk about.

Elphaba, the green mean _turtle_, had remained oblivious. The most worrisome thing, though, was that Galinda was so far gone; she actually found Elphaba's denseness kind of endearing.

That was when Galinda had came to the conclusion that she needed some outsiders' perspective.

She needed help from her friends, for when it came to the art of seduction, there was nobody wiser.

Granted, they hadn't had the bad luck to need to seduce someone quite so dum- _inexperienced _in the matters of the heart as Elphaba, but still. Someone _had_ to be able to help her.

And so, she had asked her friends to met her that afternoon in a nice, popular café in a town near Shiz. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon, the wind was blowing gently, and half of the student body was walking around. Galinda kind of wished Elphaba was there with her.

"So, Galinda, you said you needed some girl advice?" asked Pfanne as she waved to the waiter. The four of them – Galinda, ShenShen, Pfanne and Milla- were sitting in the patio of the café at a table that was a little secluded spot, perfect for what Galinda needed to do.

"Yes," answered Galinda. "I'm having a bit of a problem with something…err-" she gave a little demure cough "…romantic in nature."

"Why, Miss Galinda, who would have thought?" From ShenShen's tone of voice, though mostly from her enormous grin, it was obvious to Galinda she was enjoying this a little too much.

"Galinda Upland," ShenShen continued as she added a ridiculous amount of sugar in her coffee, "asking us, mere mortals, for advice?"

"Who would have thought, indeed?" Milla contributed, smirking.

Galinda realized then that they weren't going to make this easy for her. Her friends were evil, Galinda decided. Pure, high-maintenance, well-dressed evil.

"Well, who is he?" inquired Pfanne.

"I'd prefer not to tell, for now," Galinda said, trying probably in vain to sound mysterious instead of afraid.

"Oh, someone embarrassing!" exclaimed ShenShen, laughing and poking Milla in the ribs with her elbow.

"Not embarrassing," corrected Galinda. She crossed her arms, offended. "Just, err, _unexpected_."

"Boq?"

"Goodness, no!" cried Galinda.

"Hey, poor Boq is not _that _bad," Milla said, and Galinda thought she saw a fond smile. Milla immediately wiped it away and continued. "Still bad, though." She frowned. "And a little out of touch with reality."

"Ugh, that's more than enough conversation about that toad," interjected Pfanne, annoyed. "He's obviously not the apple of Miss Galinda's eye."

"Avaric?" questioned ShenShen, though to Galinda, it sounded more like a threat than a question.

"Perish the thought! Avaric is not my type, ShenShen."

"How can he not be your type? He's _gorgeous_," sighed ShenShen dreamily.

Both Milla and Galinda gave her a disgusted look.

"We'll find out, anyway," said Pfanne, "because, with our help, you'll...what is it that you want our help for, again?"

"I-" A deep blush graced Galinda's rosy cheeks. She played with her napkin. "I need help to, er-"

_Sweet Oz, this is hard._

"_Yes_?" Milla looked a little anxious as she leaned in, gripping her cup tightly. She was also _way_too happy with Galinda's obvious embarrassment.

"To seduce," said Galinda, barely in a whisper. Naturally, by some cruel design of the Unnamed God or _whoever_, her friends heard her. Loud and clear.

And laughed. Loudly, and for much longer than it was strictly necessary.

"Oh, Sweet Lurline, this is _priceless_!" ShenShen cried, wiping away tears when she recovered her breath.

"I thought he was cheating or something!" laughed Milla. "He doesn't even know you _exist_, does he?"

"That I exist, yes," began Galinda.

"Just not the way you want him to?" Milla finished Galinda's thought for her.

"Yes," Galinda answered, blushing. This had to be the most embarrassing situation she had ever been in. Maybe she should just go and find a new way to seduce Elphaba herself. "Maybe I should go-"

"Don't even think about it, Miss Galinda," ordered Pfanne, putting a hand on Galinda's arm to stop her. "You want to get this boy, don't you?"

"I really, really do," was Galinda's, maybe a little too honest, answer. She immediately noticed various grades of pity in her friends' eyes.

"Well then, you'll get him," said Milla. "We need the basics facts first. What have you tried so far?"

"_Everything_!" Galinda groaned, throwing her hands in the air. "I've flirted." She started counting with the fingers of her left hand. "I've been clingy, I've been nice, I've been mean, I tried four – no, _five_- different styles of hair and makeup, I've wore my very best dresses -" She ran out of fingers and sighed.

"Oh, he's a tough one alright," sighed Pfanne.

"I don't know what else I can _do_."

"My dear, my dear," chuckled ShenShen. "It seems to me that you have forgotten one very important resource."

"Huh?"

"Jealousy, Galinda," explained Milla. When Galinda looked at her in question, Milla slapped herself on the forehead. "Ugh! It's obvious you've never had this sort of problem before."

"No. I can't say I have, no."

"It's no science, anyway," said Pfanne. "Just pick some handsome boy that you think may be interested in you – _that_ shouldn't be too difficult – and flirt with him mercilessly in front of your mystery crush."

"Oh!" exclaimed Galinda. The idea didn't sound half bad.

"Make sure you look your best," elaborated Pfanne. "We want him to see what he's missing."

"Yes, yes. Of course. I'll choose my very best dress," assured Galinda, getting up to start browsing through her wardrobe.

"You know what?" Milla suggested. "Forget it. Come with us; we'll dress you up."

"What a excellent idea!" Pfanne exclaimed. "We'll make you look perfectly _edible_."

Galinda wasn't sure if she wanted to look _edible_, but then again, what did she have to lose?

"Sure." She smiled and settled back in her chair.

When the trio in front of her started grinning manically and ShenShen rubbed her hands in anticipation, Galinda began to have some serious doubts about the whole thing.

_For Elphaba, _she reminded herself. _You are doing this to get your Elphie._

* * *

Elphaba had been curled up in her bed reading, enjoying a rare, glorious moment of solitude, when Galinda entered the room.

"Hello, my-" Elphaba looked up from her book to greet Galinda, and then did a double take. And then, she did a triple take. She was about to do a quadruple take when Galinda smirked.

"Like my new dress, Elphie?" she asked.

Elphaba didn't know if she liked it or not. What she _did_know, however, is that it was a dress that would have caused her father to deem it necessary to bathe Galinda in holy water and exorcise her, and after that, bathe her in holy water again.

"Yes. I mean, _no_. I-" Was the room always this hot? Elphaba tugged at the neck of her own dress. "Where are you planning to go dressed like _that_?"

"You don't like it?" Galinda gave Elphaba her best pout.

"I – no. I do. It's just...it's very, uh..." Elphaba waved her hand vaguely in the air.

_Red. Dangerously low-cut. Far too eye-catching. W__ere your breasts always so..?_

"_..._pretty."

"Elphie," Galinda giggled. "My face is all the way up _here_."

Elphaba thought that she might as well change skin colors from green to red to save herself the trouble of blushing so _damn much_ all the time.

_"_I'm sorry, I was just...don't you think that dress is a little revealing?" Elphaba stammered, trying fiercely to will her embarrassment away. Apparently, she wasn't in control of her own body, though. Not only she could she not stop her perpetual blushing, but her eyes kept straying towards Galinda's..._immoral_ cleavage.

"Well, yes. But that's the general idea, Elphie," Galinda said and gave a little twirl.

Elphaba focused all her attention on a spot of dirt on the wall behind Galinda.

"And, to answer you previous question-"

"Uh?" Elphaba arched her eyebrows and gave Galinda a look. Or she tried to, because her body parts kept playing tricks on her, and so her eyes ended looking to – not quite Galinda's face.

_Focus on the wall, _Elphaba commanded herself. _See that wall? Nice and white and curve-less? Look. At. It._

"You asked me where I was going with this dress, Elphie, remember? Are you all right?" Galinda asked. She didn't sound concerned in the slightest; she sounded giddy.

"Yes, of course I'm alright. Don't be dense, Galinda." Elphaba realized immediately that the statement had come out a little harsher than it was necessary.

"No need to get mean, Elphaba," Galinda replied dryly. "_And_, you could do me the basic courtesy of looking at me when we talk, instead of looking at the stupid wall."

Elphaba did as she was told.

"You're right, of course," she said, this time managing to look into Galinda's eyes. "I'm sorry."

It seemed to Elphaba that lately, she had done nothing but blush and apologize.

Galinda smiled. "It's alright." She stepped into Elphaba's personal space and wrapped her arms around the green girl's waist.

"I like your meanyfiedness. Just try not to direct it at me so much, okay?"

"Okay. I'll try that," answered Elphaba, although she knew it was probably a lie. She tended to fall back on anger and sarcasm when she was uncomfortable, unsure, scared, or nervous.

"Anyhow, I was going to meet _Fiyero_," Galinda squealed.

"He asked you on a date?" Elphaba asked, surprised.

Galinda giggled. "Oh, he hasn't asked me yet. I'm going to surprise him."

"I thought you two were over," Elphaba pointed out.

"Well, yes. That doesn't mean things can't change." Galinda let go of Elphaba and walked to the mirror to start fussing over her already perfect curls.

"Besides, it's not like there's _someone else," _Galinda gave Elphaba a look that the green teen had no hope of _ever_ deciphering, and continued, "willing to go on a date with me, and I need to show off my dress!"

"You need to _cover _your dress," muttered Elphaba under her breath.

"Did you just say something?"

"Nothing. That's me. I'm silent. A leaf on the wind- that's how silent I am."

Galinda gave her an incredulous look and suggested some sort of medication, but Elphaba didn't care. At last, she had discovered the Boy.

_Fiyero_.

That explained everything! Why Galinda and Fiyero _both_ had been acting madly. They were still in love with each other and were either too dumb or too afraid to ask for a second chance.

Elphaba felt a sense of disappointment she couldn't explain, but she quickly shook it off.

_This is perfect, _she thought, grinning. _This explains everything._

Well, not _everything_. But still, it was good enough. Because now, Elphaba had a _new_ plan.

* * *

Galinda left the room, put on her coat, and began walking.

Of course, she had no intention whatsoever of going to Fiyero's room to ask him out. At least, not when Elphaba wouldn't be present to see her do it.

Galinda decided that her friends were geniuses. She had had her share of doubts about the whole idea, but mainly about the low cut, tight, red dress. It wasn't something Galinda would have ever thought of wearing in public.

_And it isn't something I will wear in public any__ time soon, s_he thought, wrapping her coat more tightly around herself.

Still, the immoral thing had its merits, if Elphaba's reaction was anything to judge by. Galinda should have known that subtle seduction would not work with Elphaba. Quite evidently, Elphaba needed heavily handled, hit-you-in-the-face seduction.

_Not that I've been very subtle at all, _Galinda mused, _but I can be _evenless_ subtle, if that's what it takes._

Just when Galinda was about to go back to her room with some story about how Fiyero wasn't in his room and how _disappointed_ she had been to discover him gone, she heard someone call her name.

"Miss Galinda!"

Galinda turned around, and when she saw Boq walking towards her, she made sure that her coat covered every last bit of skin the dress revealed. It would do no good at all to have Boq seeing what had turned Elphaba into a incoherent mess just fifteen minutes ago. Surely, it would kill him.

"Master Boq, how are you?" Galinda politely greeted him.

Boq smiled shyly at her. "I'm well, thank you," he said.

"I was thinking," he continued, a blush creeping up to his cheeks. "I had such a wonderful time the other night at the bar. Maybe you'd like to repeat it sometime, just the two of us?"

Galinda sighed.

Poor Boq. Milla was right: he really wasn't all that horrible. He just needed to let go of his delusions that someday, Galinda would want him as something more than a mere acquaintance.

It was mostly Galinda's own fault, of course, that he hadn't let go of them yet. She had allowed herself to form the habit of expecting to have Boq worshiping the ground she walked on. Who could blame her? It _was_ incredibly good for a girl's self esteem.

"Boq," Galinda said slowly and carefully. "I don't want to hurt you, but it's simply not going to happen."

Boq sighed and kicked the floor. "Is it me? Is it my Munchkin size?" he asked dejectedly.

"No, Boq." Galinda smiled at him. "I'll admit, you _are _little. But you are a little sweet and a little charming, too." She paused. "I'm interested in someone else," Galinda concluded.

"Oh," Boq said. He put on his very best gentleman face to say, "I hope this person deserves you, Miss Galinda."

"I think she does," retorted Galinda without thinking. Then, she gasped.

"Oh." Boq seemed for a moment to have lost all his vocabulary, but he recovered fairly quickly. "Well, that figures. Her family married into _height_."

"You are not surprised?" asked an astonished Galinda.

"I was," Boq explained, "for about a whole second, and then, I realized it was actually kind of painfully obvious."

Galinda laughed. "It _is_ obvious, isn't it?" she said.

Boq nodded.

"Would you like to accompany me back to my room, Master Boq?" asked Galinda after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"I would like that, Miss Galinda," he said, and he offered his arm to Galinda.

Galinda took it, and they began their way back to her room.

"Miss Galinda," said Boq when they reached her door. "I hope everything works out for you. I might not have gotten the girl of my dreams, but I hope you get yours."

"I hope that too," Galinda answered. She could hear the sound of Elphaba's pacing from inside the room.

"Just, if it doesn't work out, I'm-"

"I know."

Boq gave her a small smile, took her hand, and kissed it.

"Goodbye, Miss Galinda," he said, and Galinda had the feeling that Boq would a fine man, once he let go of silly schoolboy crushes.

"Bye Boq. I'll see you tomorrow."

When Boq was out of view, Galinda sighed and rested her forehead on the door of her room.

If even _Boq _could tell she was crazy about Elphaba, how come the green girl herself didn't? Wasn't Elphaba _smart_, for Oz sake?

Galinda decided she would start laying on the jealousy thick first thing tomorrow.

For now, though, she just wanted to talk to her Elphie for a little while before bed.


	8. Kiss the Girl

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Wicked. I don't own Elphaba, or Galinda, or Fiyero, or Boq. In addition, I don't own the concept of true love or romance, nor do I experience either with nearly enough frequency.

**A/N:** Who's a horrible un-updater uncool author? (points to self) That's right, I suck!

Guys, I'm so very sorry this took so long. I've had a couple of terrible, busy weeks. Well, they could be considered great, since I did a lot of work which earned me money. _But_, I was kept away from writing fanfiction for you. You're all welcome to request my boss personal adress to direct your hate mail.

Also, my Beta had (in her words) a hellish week, too. Congratulations and _many_ thanks to Wolfie for taking the time to beta this chapter after a week that included an AP Calc test (quite a feat, eh?)

* * *

**Chapter eight:**

"Kiss the girl"

* * *

When Elphaba had told Fiyero a few days ago that Galinda was acting crazy and that, by default, it was driving _Elphaba_ crazy, he had barely resisted the urge to tell her that of _course_ Galinda was acting demented. Women, after all, were insane. On second thought, however, he supposed that it wouldn't have been a smart choice, given the circumstances of Elphaba being - however different and peculiar and _wonderful_ she was- a girl.

But now, Fiyero had come to the conclusion that, as usual, Elphaba had been right. He had to admit that Galinda wasn't simply womanly crazy. She was out of her mind. Completely, _clinically_ insane. Schizophrenic, even.

One minute, Galinda would be _all over him_. Not that he could blame her. He was a handsome Arkji prince, after all.

Then again, _she_ had broken up with him.

The first time Galinda started flirting shamelessly with him in front of Elphaba, Fiyero had thought that she'd realized what she was missing, and wanted him back

But then, without any warning, Galinda would treat him as if he was no more than a inconvenient nuisance.

Galinda had definitely lost her mind.

_Women._

Fiyero was walking calmly towards his chemistry class, planning to be as late as he could – chemistry was simply too dull for him- when he spotted Galinda and Elphaba. They appeared to be arguing over something: Elphaba was shaking her head, frowning, and naturally carrying an enormous pile of books. Galinda was clinging to Elphaba's arm and pouting.

Fiyero made his way towards them. If he was lucky, maybe Galinda would ignore him and he could be a perfect gentleman to Elphaba and carry her books. Or perhaps a nice conversation with her and tell her she looked pretty.

"But they don't match my dress, Elphie!" Galinda was saying when Fiyero approached them.

"Of course they don't, Galinda. Books are not fashion accessories."

Galinda smiled. "Well, it's perfectly reasonable then, that I don't have any interest in the ugly things."

Elphaba shook her head incredulously and smiled. Fiyero immediately felt very jealous. Elphaba never smiled like _that_ with him.

"Hello, girls," Fiyero said, trying to get the pair to notice his presence.

"Fiyero, how are you?" Elphaba greeted him. The smile she gave him wasn't _nearly_ as warm as the one she had just given Galinda, but it was enough for Fiyero.

He beamed at her "Perfect, and you?"

"I could be better." Elphaba responded, frowning " For example, I could have full mobility of my left arm."

Galinda stuck her tongue out at Elphaba."If you wanted your arm back," Galinda told her, gripping the extremity in question tighter "all you had to do was ask."

Elphaba snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Can I have my arm back, _please_?" Elphaba sarcastically asked.

Galinda put her free hand on her chin and made a big show of being deep in thought.

"I'm feeling generous, so," the blond let go of Elphaba's arm "you can have it. Don't get attached to it, though, I'll probably want it back."

When Elphaba's only response was a throaty chuckle, Fiyero was invaded by the uncomfortable feeling of being a third wheel.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Galinda went into her "all-over-him" mode, and he had to swallow his words.

"Fiyero! Don't you look _handsome_ today?" Galinda was gripping _his_ arm now, and damn him if she didn't have some serious strength in those dainty hands.

Well, this was just his rotten luck. Galinda _always_ went on "all-over-him" mode when Elphaba was near.

Fiyero shrugged in an useless attempt to free his arm. "Er, thank you."

He turned to Elphaba, who was looking at Galinda and him with a sort of...calculating gleam in her eyes. That, quite frankly, scared him a little.

"Elphaba, would you like some help with those books?"

"Such a perfect gentleman, isn't he, Elphie?" Galinda gushed. Fiyero tried to free his arm again, but Galinda refused to let go.

Some serious strength indeed.

Elphaba mercifully ignored Galinda's comment. "Thank you, Fiyero. I have no problems with my books. Galinda's however," she separated three books from her pile, "you can carry."

Elphaba gave Fiyero the books in question, and without another word, turned around and started walking again.

And so, Fiyero was left carrying Galinda's books and walking with her arm in arm.

_Perfect scenario,_ he noted. _Wrong girl._

* * *

The jealousy plan, Galinda mused as she took her place besides Milla in the chemistry classroom, was hard work.

Not flirting with Fiyero. Flirting with Fiyero was easy. She simply went into auto-pilot and gushed, giggled, swayed and touched in all the right moments and in the exact necessary amount.

The annoying thing was that this plan involved spending lots of time talking to Fiyero and walking with Fiyero and touching Fiyero when Elphaba was near. Of course, that was the whole point of the idea. _But_, whenever Galinda was doing this, a part of her brain would immediately start admonishing her.

_What in Oz's name are you doing? Elphaba is here! Talk to _her_! Flirt with _her_! Leave brainless Fiyero _alone_!_

Naturally, Galinda would - try to – pay no mind to her silly brain; the brilliant plan was actually working, if the conversation she had had with Elphaba the previous night was any indication.

Elphaba had been sitting on her bed reading something that Galinda was sure wasn't even in English, and Galinda had been enjoying herself with some Elphie-gazing when the unthinkable had happened. Elphaba, on her own accord, had closed her book and started talking to Galinda about _dates._

* * *

"Galinda?" Elphaba asked as she carefully marked the page she was reading in her book.

Galinda was a little put out by the fact that her Elphie-staring time was being cut short, but answered anyway.

"Yes?"

Elphaba cleared her throat "I, uhm, was wondering -" She took off her glasses and folded them.

"_Yes_?"

"When you-" Elphaba cleared her throat again. Galinda started to lose her patience. Luckily for her, Elphaba continued without needing Galinda to resort to violence.

"When you go out with a boy, what do you like to do?"

Galinda couldn't help but bounce a little on her bed. How exciting! Elphaba Thropp, talking to her about dates. This could only mean one thing. The jealousy plan was actually _working_!

Galinda wasn't exactly sure how she had managed to stop from breaking into an enormous goofy grin, but she did it. When she continued the conversation, she sounded collected, if maybe a little excited, like any girl ready to talk about boys with her best friend.

"I don't know-" Galinda began.

"How can you not know, Galinda?"

Galinda gave Elphaba a stern look "Hush, you. You asked me a question; do you want to get an answer?"

Elphaba looked as if she was about to grace Galinda with one of her usual mean remarks, but she remained silent. Therefore, Galinda continued.

"It depends on the person I'm going out with," Galinda explained, being careful to be vague in regards togender. "Maybe going out for dinner at a nice place, or going to hear a local orchestra."

"I see," Elphaba murmured, scratching her chin with her left hand.

After a few long moments of silence Galinda thought that the conversation was over, but Elphaba started talking again.

"And, the boys, they-" Elphaba cleared her throat yet _again_, and Galinda considered getting up from her bed to get Elphaba some medicine.

"They-" Elphaba continued. She tried again. "What do you like them to do?"

"_Elphaba!"_ Galinda giggled "I don't think that's a proper question to ask."

Elphaba arched an eyebrow, looking confused. "What?" she asked. After a couple of seconds, her eyes went incredibly wide.

"I would _never_ – I didn't mean that!" exclaimed Elphaba, scandalized.

Galinda tried to say something, but she couldn't stop the giggling fit that had seized her.

"I meant," Elphaba elaborated over Galinda's giggles, talking slowly. "if you like them to bring flowers or to choose the place of the date, or to take your hand. _That's_ what I meant."

"Well, _of course_ I like those things, Elphie! What girl doesn't like flowers?"

"There must be some girl who doesn't. Not everyone is like you and your friends, my sweet."

"Don't tell me," Galinda said. "You don't like flowers, Elphie?"

Elphaba laughed that sort of half chuckle-half cackle laugh that made Galinda melt a little.

_Or a lot._

"Surprisingly, I do."

"Really?"

"Yes." Elphaba fixed her eyes on the wall. "When I was a child, I used to think -"

Elphaba stopped talking abruptly and shook her head. Galinda gave her a questioning look. The green girl didn't answer- at least, not with words. Instead, she got up from her bed.

"Excuse me, Galinda. I need to take a bath."

And with that, she was gone.

* * *

Galinda had wanted to talk more about the fascinating subject of dates and flowers, but Elphaba stayed in the bathroom for the longest time. When Elphaba finally got out of the bathroom, Galinda had fallen sleep.

* * *

Elphaba almost wished her father had let Nessa come to Shiz a year earlier like she'd wanted to. She had always been much better than Elphaba at anything that involved social matters. This date planning business was hard. Nessa would have known how this was done much better than green, antisocial Elphaba.

But then, of course, she remembered how annoying her sister could get and quickly changed her mind.

Elphaba was on her way to a restaurant called The Golden Duck to make reservations. According to her investigations, this was the bestrestaurant around Shiz.

Elphaba checked the piece of paper where she had written the directions she had been given to reach the restaurant, trying to be as cautious as she could to remain unseen. It would be no good at all for someone to spoil Galinda's surprise.

After a few more minutes of walking, she reached the place. She stood in front of the door without entering for as long as she could.

She clenched her fists and took a couple of very deep breaths.

_You have to do this,_ she reminded herself. _You can do this._

The restaurant was an upscale, awfully snobby looking big building. At the door, a man who looked extremely bored – or slightly constipated – greeted her.

Actually, he proffered a scream most alike Galinda's squeals, and backed away terrified. Elphaba guessed that was the best welcome she was going to get in a place like this and entered the building.

"Hello," she said, trying to put all those lections in manners and poise her grandfather had given her to good use. Or, as he had liked to call them, "You are a Thropp heir, you will act like it, _damn_ _it_!" lessons.

The maitre still looked as if he had forgotten how to breath. If Elphaba were prone to violence, she would have punched the snobby cad in the face.

Elphaba sighed and did her best to act like someone who was snobby and rich enough to want to come to this ugly place.

She tilted her chin upwards. "I want to make reservations."

The maitre continued to look afraid for his life, but luckily for Elphaba, he recovered his voice.

He took a fancy notebook out of his pocket, and responded in an strange accent which Elphaba couldn't place. "Of course. Your name Miss?"

Elphaba remembered rules number one to seventeen in her lessons: "Money makes the world go round", "Money is everything", "Show your gold, you'll have the world", and so on.

She placed a couple of bills over the counter. "Thropp, Elphaba Thropp. Table for two, please."

Elphaba saw the demeanor and body language of the man change completely in two seconds flat.

"Thropp?"

Elphaba nodded, although it was hard with her chin set so high. How did people like Galinda do this?

"If I may be so bold, are you related by any chance to His Eminence from Munchinkland?"

Elphaba sighed. "He's my grandfather. How do you know him?"

"He's a regular costomer in our Muchinkland location. Most of us," he gestured at the waiters who were setting up tables, "work there during the summer when Shiz is almost empty. "

Elphaba thought it made an awful amount of sense. If her grandfather needed to eat out, he would surely pick a place like this: big, pretentious and more expensive than it was worth.

Elphaba gave the man the most superior look she could muster. "I'm _sure_ he will be most pleased to know you have provided her granddaughter excellent attention and service."

The poor man immediately understood what was left unsaid.

"Would you like to choose the table, Miss?" he inquired politely.

"No," Elphaba retorted. "Simply make sure it is a private table."

He noted Elphaba's request in his notebook "Of course, Miss."

"The table must be ready for tomorrow at seven." When that was also noted, Elphaba added "It's better to leave the reservation under Galinda Upland."

The maitre gave her a strange look, but after a well timed glare he kept his eyes fixed on the floor or in his notebook.

"All done?" she asked impatiently.

The maitre was quick to answer "Yes, yes."

Elphaba gave him one last superior look and an exasperated sigh before she took a couple of bills more from her pockets.

The maitre's eyes got as round and big as the plates which the waiters were polishing behind him. His eyes, Elphaba noted, were also kind of glazed.

"This," Elphaba explained, "should cover for anything eaten tomorrow."

"And this," she thrust a few more bills into the man's hands, "will make sure the table has the quickest, best service you can give."

The maitre wasted no time in pocketing the money.

"Don't worry, Miss Thropp." He gave her a little bow and a smile "Everything will be perfect."

"I sure hope so." Elphaba said. She nodded and left the restaurant.

As Elphaba hurried back to Shiz in order to arrive inher room before Galinda got out from her class and suspected something, she thought that if Galinda wasn't happy with this, she was going to lock the pink thing in a box and mail it back to her parents.

* * *

Fiyero opened his math book with a sigh and rubbed his eyes. He proceeded to read the exercise he was supposed to solve and nearly cried.

"_Find all the singular points (the points of non-differentiability) of the function:_

_f(x) 1 - x if x in (-1,1 _

_1/2 x - 1/2 if x in (1,3)"_

_What do I need to know this for? I'm not going to make a living out of X's and Y's! I'm a _Prince_, for Oz's sake!_

He read it over again and again. And again. Well, he supposed he was getting better. He knew what "find" meant, at least.

"_This_ is what's wrong in Oz," he said to Avaric, closing his book.

From across the table, he saw Avaric frown. "What? _Math_?"

Fiyero put his face in his hands. "No," he mumbled. "Corrupt headmistresses who allow someone like _me_ to be in _Calculus I_ just because my father promised a substantial donation."

Avaric laughed.

Fiyero banged his head on the table, "Don't laugh. I'm serious."

Avaric closed his book too and smiled. "Your father can pay Horrible Morrible again. He'll get you a nice A plus."

Fiyero glared at him "No," he said. "I want to _understand_ this."

"Since when?"

"Since-"

_Since I acquired a crush on a green girl who uses her damned brain. Oz, life really was more painless for the brainless. _

"Does it matter? Since now."

Avaric shrugged and got up "As you wish. I'm sick of this."

Fiyero had given up and was stashing his books back in his bag to accompany Avaric when the boy winked and elbowed him in the ribs.

"Look. If you stay, you won't be alone," Avaric whispered in his ear. "Your girlfriend is here."

Fiyero followed Avaric's gaze to find Elphaba walking towards them.

"Though I still believe you don't have a chance in hell, I'll leave you two alone," Avaric announced, putting his bag over his shoulder.

As he was walking away, he turned around and mouthed, "Go, Tiger!"

Fiyero was never sharing any of his deepest heart's desires with that boy again.

Before Elphaba got close enough, Fiyero scanned the room for any reflective surface.

_Stupid libraries,_ he thought. _All those dusty old books and not a single mirror. My hair must be such a mess._

He straightened his shirt, finger-combed his hair as best as he could without a mirror, and prepared himself to look cool and pleasantly surprised to see Elphaba. At the last second, he remembered Elphaba liked math, so he took his books out and pretended to be studying really hard.

"Fiyero?" he heard Elphaba ask behind him.

He turned around and smiled pleasantly. "Elphaba, hello."

Elphaba looked at the books over the table. "Are you occupied?"

"No, just trying not to fail Calculus." He gave his book a fierce scowl. "Please, take a seat."

Elphaba did so. "Thank you."

It occurred to Fiyero that maybe pretending to be interested in knowledge was a good way to win Elphaba over. "It's such a wonderful coincidence you are here," he said. "I was having a little trouble with this exercise." He pointed at a random exercise in the middle of a page. "Maybe you could give me a hand?"

Elphaba looked at the exercise and took her notebook from her bag. "Sure."

Fiyero grabbed his own notebook, ready to at least pretend to take notes.

"Because a variable is raised to a variable power in this function, the ordinary rules of differentiation do not apply. The function must first be revised before a derivative can be taken-"

As Elphaba started explaining, Fiyero tried very, _ridiculously_ hard to pay attention. It didn't make any difference. About two words into Elphaba's explanation, he was absolutely lost.

"…after that, differentiate both sides of this equation. The left-hand side requires the chain rule since y represents a function of x . Use the product rule on the right-hand side. Thus-"

Elphaba wrote something unintelligible in his notebook. From Fiyero's point of view, it looked like a house or a dog, or a house. Or maybe it read, "Surrender Fiyero".

"And that's it," Elphaba informed him "It's rather simple, once you get the gist of it."

Fiyero stared at the notebook for a long while, using every last neuron he had to try to understand what Elphaba had done. Needless to say, he failed miserably.

"Of course. It's…very, uh, _clear_ now."

Elphaba closed her notebook. "Good. I'm glad I could help."

"But," she continued "I wasn't looking for you to help you with Calculus."

Fiyero perked up. "No?"

"No."

He smiled and ran a hand through his hair. "What can I do for you, Elphaba?"

Elphaba uncharacteristically bit her lip. "Do you have something to do tomorrow evening?" she asked, looking at the table and playing with the cuff of her blouse.

Fiyero thought he would _burst_ from happiness. "No, Oz _no_."

"Good. Come to my and Galinda's room at six."

Well, Elphaba lacked a little tact and romanticism, but it would have to do.

"Of course, of course." Fiyero tried to put his hand over Elphaba's, but she quickly hid it under the table.

_All right, shy about physical contact. I can work with that._

Elphaba got up "Dress nicely and bring flowers. _Don't_ be late. The reservation is at seven," she ordered. Fiyero considering telling her that _maybe_ she was going a bit far with the micromanaging.

Instead, he smiled and responded "I'll be there." "Shall I walk you to your room?"

"No." Elphaba answered, and then without even a 'goodbye', she was gone.

_Women. All perfectly insane, the lot of them._

* * *

_Elphie, where are you?_

Galinda was enjoying what had recently become her if not favorite, most usual past-time: Elphaba-hunting.

That day, she was fortunate enough to spot Elphaba exiting the library after only five minutes of searching.

Before Elphaba could become aware of her presence, Galinda hid from her view behind a column. She took a mirror from her purse and checked her makeup and hair.

After a exhaustive examination, Galinda grinned. Everything was perfect. She exited her hiding place and followed Elphaba. When she was close enough to get Elphaba's attention, an idea popped into her head. She turned around and adjusted the cleavage of her dress.

Galinda wasn't a girl who'd waste perfectly good information. If cleavage was Elphaba's weakness, she would use it against her as often as she could.

"Elphie, wait!"

Elphaba turned around and stopped walking. "Galinda, I was just looking for you."

Galinda extended her books towards Elphaba "Really?"

Elphaba nodded and took Galinda's books without a second thought. "Yes. Care to take a walk with me?"

"That'd be great, Elphie." Galinda answered as she took Elphaba's arm.

"Excellent." Elphaba readjusted Galinda's books in her free arm and started walking.

Galinda smiled inwardly. Admittedly, it was difficult for her to seduce the mean green thing. At least she had her perfectly trained already.

They walked together in companionable silence for a while until Elphaba guided them to a bench.

"I've noticed," Elphaba began after setting Galinda's books beside her, "that you haven't been going out with your friends as much as you used to."

_Of course I don't_, thought Galinda. _I went out with them to meet boys, mostly._

"And I thought, maybe you'd like an outing?"

Galinda couldn't help herself. She squealed. And she bounced, too. Repeatedly.

"Really, Elphie?" Bounce "_Really_?" Bounce.

Elphaba laughed at Galinda's antics. "Yes, my sweet. Really."

"You'll have to be ready in our room, tomorrow at six."

Galinda nodded frantically. "I will. I definitely will."

* * *

Elphaba was most pleased with herself. For once in her sorry existence, a plan of hers had worked. Both Galinda and Fiyero had accepted her rather cryptic invitation without a second thought.

And Galinda was elated. If she was this happy for a simple outing with her green bean of a friend, she would be _ecstatic_ when she found out she actually had a date with Fiyero.

Galinda was so adorable when she was this happy that Elphaba considered, for a second, taking Galinda to dinner herself. But no. No, no, no.

Galinda and Fiyero- that was the idea. Galinda and Fiyero. And _Fiyero_.

It was a bit frightening that Elphaba, since the very moment when Galinda had responded so well to her invitation, had had to remain herself that the date was for _Galinda and Fiyero_ at least twenty times.

Still, Galinda was so happy, and so adorable that Elphaba couldn't help, even if just the tiniest bit, wanting her all to herself.

Of course, Galinda's happiness wasn't without its downfalls.

"Elphie, don't be mean! Tell me something!"

Elphaba sighed "No. It's a surprise, Galinda. Surely, you understand the meaning of the word."

Galinda threw herself on Elphaba's bed.

"But how I am supposed to know what to wear?"

Elphaba could see some sense in that. "Dress nicely. It's all I'm going to tell you."

"How nicely?"

"Nicely." Elphaba took Galinda's hand and guided her to her own bed "Now go to sleep."

"Elphie!" Galinda whined "How am I ever going to sleep when I am so exited?"

"You'll figure it out."

Elphaba blew out the candle and got under her covers. Sleep, however, for some unknown reason, eluded her.

* * *

Galinda had spent all Saturday trying on dresses, experimenting with her hair, counting the hours, looking at herself in the mirror, and daydreaming, and now, finally, it was time!

She was so exited she could hardly keep from bouncing all over her room. Galinda checked her watch again. Ten to six.

Where was Elphaba?

The mean green thing had disappeared that morning before Galinda had awoken, effectively thwarting Galinda's plans to fish for information until Elphaba cracked.

When Galinda was about to start daydreaming again, the door opened to reveal Elphaba looking…like she looked everyday.

Galinda found that offensive. This was how Elphaba dressed for a date? This simply wouldn't do.

Galinda crossed her arms and gave Elphaba the angriest look she could summon. "Elphaba!" she exclaimed, stomping her foot down on the floor. "Didn't you say 'dress _nicely'_?"

Elphaba, the mean thing, simply laughed at Galinda's outrage. "Yes, but I meant _you_." Elphaba left some bags she was carrying on the table. "You look beautiful, by the way."

Galinda immediately ruined all pretenses of being angry by blushing like the schoolgirl with a crush on her best friend that she was. "Thank you." She took Elphaba's hand and played with the green fingers. "So, will you tell me where we are going now?"

Elphaba gave her a teasing smile, and when she looked about to reply, a knock interrupted her.

"_We_ are not going anywhere," she announced before opening the door.

_What? We are not - What the _hell _is Fiyero doing here?!_

Elphaba gave her the proudest grin Galinda had ever seen on the green girl's face. "_But_, you and Fiyero are going to The Golden Duck."

Fiyero and Galinda looked at each other, apparently sharing the same thought.

_Elphaba is an idiot. _

_And, also, _dead_._


	9. Of awkward dates and good advice

**Disclaimer:** I was not thinking of Wicked when I wrote this story. Wicked was thinking me. Who authorizes automatic writing?

**A/N:** I know, I know. I don't even have a decent excuse. To put it simply: college + work: no life.

I'm so, so very sorry.

As usual, I can't tell you how much I love reading your reviews, my lovely, _lovely _readers. You truly make my day when I come back home after working my ass off to be able to afford studying. Really, thanks to all of you who review, and to those who simply read.

Bad news: My beta has gone away on vacation 'til next month, so this chapter is, sadly, un-beta'ed. Feel free to correct anything you think is off. Only, pm me if you think you are gonna make me cry? :)

Without further ado, chapter nine. Enjoy:

* * *

**Chapter ****nine:**

" Of awkward dates and good advice "

* * *

_Awkward, awkward, awkward__._

It was the only way Fiyero could describe this horrible, awkward, situation.

As he idly watched waiters come and go with plates, Fiyero wondered what had he ever done that was bad enough to deserve such a cruel twist of fate.

Elphaba didn't like him back, apparently. He could deal with that, of that he was certain. He could make sure she realized just how wonderful and perfect for her he was.

What he _couldn't_ deal with was Elphaba setting him up with Galinda who had, apparently, recovered her previous crush on him. _That_ was a disaster. With a girl like Galinda after him; his efforts to court Elphaba were doomed to failure. Especially if she insisted on being all over him whenever Elphaba was near.

Across the candlelit table, Galinda seemed to be reading the menu. Fiyero thought that must be a different menu that the one he'd got, because she'd been reading the thing for almost half an hour.

Awkward.

Fiyero took Galinda's glass to pour her some of the exquisite, incredibly expensive -and apparently already paid for- wine, if only to have something to do besides stare at the wall.

"Well. This is really, uh, _nice_, don't you think?"

Galinda didn't even look up from the menu.

"Galinda?"

This was beyond awkward, this was insulting! If Galinda was going to make Elphaba _trick him_ into going on a date with her, the least she could do was make sure the date was actually a good one!

Fiyero slammed the bottle of wine on the table.

_That_ caught Galinda's attention.

"Fiyero!" she admonished, "What are you doing?"

Fiyero put on his sweetest smile. "Galinda, would you care for a glass of wine?"

Galinda looked at the glass, surprised. And, Fiyero thought, maybe the slightest bit horrified.

"You bought wine?"

"No." Fiyero answered quickly. Wine meant romance, and he didn't want Galinda to get the wrong idea. Wronger idea. "The waiter brought it. It is, apparently, already paid for."

Galinda nodded slowly.

"Oh." she said, and began to play with a pink bracelet on her wrist, avoiding Fiyero's gaze.

Fiyero could easily understand her nervousness. Poor Galinda.

After all, she had broken up with him, and now realized that she wanted him back when he had already moved on.

_I have__ to clear things up sooner than later_, he decided, taking a sip of his wine. Otherwise, someone was bound to get hurt.

Before he could say anything, tough, the annoying waiter with the snobbish attitude reappeared.

"Are you ready to order?"

Fiyero opened his mouth to respond but, as per usual, Galinda was quicker.

"_Who_ paid for the wine?"

The waiter looked uncomfortable. Perhaps, Fiyero thought, he had been ordered not to reveal their benefactor's identity. Or maybe, it was the slightly demented glean in Galinda's eyes.

"The same person who paid for everything else, Miss"

Galinda smiled, and Fiyero thought she seemed kind of… _devious_.

"I see." she said and frowned for a moment, appearing to be deep in thought. "What's the most expensive item in the menu?"

"Hmh, that would be the flambé duck, Miss."

Galinda nodded and smiled again.

"I'll have that."

The waiter took note of her request and looked at Fiyero. "And you, Master?"

Galinda, of course, didn't let Fiyero answer. "He'll have the second most expensive item in the menu."

The waiter gave Fiyero a questioning look, but Fiyero simply shrugged as if to say _"Women, you know how they are."_

The waiter noted 'Fiyero's' choice, gave a little bow and left the pair alone.

Fiyero only hoped he didn't get escargot, or something similarly repulsive.

* * *

Galinda was going to murder Elphaba.

She was going to murder her with a tea spoon. Then, she was going to magick her life back into her, and she was going to kill her again. And then, she would get her a brain that could actually _get a dammed clue_ and realize Galinda wanted her! And then-

"Galinda, is your food all right?"

Galinda gave Fiyero an old fashioned, heartfelt glare. "It's fine!"

_Really,_ thought Galinda, _Fiyero doesn't have to look so scared_. _A girl raises her voice a little…_

"You are sort of…_stabbing_ it."

"That's nonsense!"

Actually, it _was _kind of nice to stab the thing.

"Why" stab "-would I do" stab, stab, _stab_. "such a thing, Fiyero dearest?"

Fiyero looked around frantically, as if to search for possible escape routes. "I don't, I.."

_Stab_.

"Yes?"

"Nothing." Fiyero answered, and shoved an enormous piece of his funny looking meat – or was it chicken?- in his mouth. "What a delicious meal, uh?"

Galinda was going to kill Elphaba so many times her relatives back in Munchkinland would feel the pain.

* * *

After about what seemed to Galinda hours of excruciating awkward silence, only disrupted by the sounds of Fiyero's munching, both of them had finished their meals.

Or rather, Fiyero had finished her meal and Galinda had ripped hers apart into something unrecognizable.

"Galinda?"

_What's Fiyero still doing here?_

"Yes?"

Fiyero, looking extremely unconformable, filled Galinda's glass again and took a deep breath.

"Listen, Galinda. I have something to confess…"

Fiyero cleared his throat and tidied imaginary wrinkles in the cuffs of his shirt, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but-"

Galinda gave him and encouraging look.

"It's actually a funny story. You know how you sometimes have feelings for this girl? Well, not you. You wouldn't have feelings for a girl. But me. I have feelings for this girl."

Fiyero paused to catch his breath, and immediately started talking again, "And this girl, this _wonderful_ girl, comes to me and asks me on a date, and I say yes, of course. And Saturday arrives, and the date is perfect, but the girl I'm on a date is not that girl. The one I have feelings for."

If Galinda hadn't already known what Fiyero was talking about, she may have gotten a little confused.

As it was, she understood _perfectly_ what he meant.

Fiyero shrugged a little and sighed. "I'm really sorry." he concluded.

Galinda shook her head slowly. "It's all right, Fiyero. I understand."

Fiyero, who had been maybe the littlest bit scared for his life, gave her a baffled look.

"You do?" he asked.

"I really, _really_ do."

Since Fiyero didn't seem to be any less confusifyed, Galinda elaborated, "Let's just say, you're not that girl either."

Fiyero laughed loudly. "Well, of course I'm not! That's ridi-" He started, but then he stopped mid-sentence and frowned.

"_Oh._"

Fiyero took a long drink from his wine, "Really?" he asked "_Really_?"

Galinda nodded.

"We really _do_ deserve each other, uh?"

* * *

Fiyero opened the door of the restaurant for Galinda, and both exited the building.

Galinda gave him a polite smile. "Thank you, Fiyero. Always the perfect gentleman, Aren't you?"

Fiyero executed an overly dramatic bow as he buttoned his coat, "Thank you. It's the way I was raised: Ladies first."

"I can only assume, then, that you're going to apply your gentlemanly education to our _peculiar_ situation, and step aside."

Fiyero's innocent look was the most unconvincing one Galinda had ever seen.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

Galinda rolled her eyes, "You know perfectly well what I mean, Fiyero. You will leave Elphaba alone."

"No, I won't."

Galinda barely resisted the urge to throw a temper tantrum like a petulant child.

"What? But, you _must_! Ladies first, didn't you say?"

"Galinda, you can't actually expect me to give up on the girl I love for something as stupid as chivalry. You can stand a fair fight."

And Galinda couldn't really ask him to give up on the girl he loved. But she didn't want to have to fight for Elphaba's affections either.

She just wanted Elphaba to _understand_.

* * *

_And Galinda says _my_ books are complicated._

Elphaba had been reading one of Galinda's romance novels for the last two hours. She was only on chapter ten, and already, the heroine and her _one true love_ had almost (but not quite) gotten married five times, discovered they were brothers, _or was it cousins?_ two times and, the evil stepmother (Cassandra Malevolous, of all the moronic names in the word) had died the grand total of three times.

It was the most unintelligible piece of rubbish she had ever had the misfortune of reading.

An yet, she couldn't stop reading. Or rather, she wouldn't. For when she stopped reading, the thinking started. And thinking, by default, led to thoughts.

And her thoughts were _very_ disturbing.

Elphaba shook her head and continued her reading of _The Tawny Gold Man. _

When, about half an hour later, Cassandra Malevolous managed to return from death _yet again_ to reveal that she was in fact, not only an evil stepmother but a loyal server of Tristan's Evil Uncle, Elphaba decided she would rather face her disturbing thoughts.

She left the book in Galinda's nightstand and started walking around her room, trying to find something else to do. Of course, she found nothing.

She sat at the desk and opened one of her philosophy books, only to close it again immediately.

Really, it was too late for reading.

_Speaking of which, Galinda should be here already. _

_What are they doing?_

Elphaba shook her head again, and sighed. _Those_ kind of thoughts were the ones that had plagued her all evening, ever since Fiyero and Galinda had left.

_Maybe I should go find her,_ she considered, and quickly abandoned the notion.

She was being ridiculous. After all, wasn't she the one who had set the pair up? This was her great plan. Her life was going to go back to normal. She was going to be happy.

And still, she couldn't shake the feeling that somehow this situation was wrong.

She didn't want Galinda to be out with Fiyero, she wanted Galinda to be here, with her. Even if she was crazy. Even if Elphaba couldn't think properly when Galinda was near. Even if Galinda could get Elphaba to do anything just by…being.

_Sweet Ozma__, I am the saddest little artichoke alive._

Elphaba got up and started pacing again.

_It's all right, it's fine. Galinda and Fiyero are perfect for each other, this is what I wanted. It's perfect.__ It is._

It wasn't. Elphaba wasn't able, for the life of her, to explain why, but it wasn't perfect. It was horrible.

_I need something to do. Or a very, incredibly, barely legal strong drink._

She decided that since it was Saturday, and her roommate was already out, she might as well go take a walk.

If, by pure chance she managed to walk by the restaurant Galinda and Fiyero where at, well, she would be obligated by her good manners to go inside and say hello. And maybe, she should also try to be a good roommate and bring a coat for Galinda, since it was so cold outside. Something black. And nunish.

Or maybe she should just go somewhere to get that drink. Or go bang her head against a wall until she fainted, and wake up when her life was back to normal.

_Forget the drink, _Elphaba told herself as she crossed the door, _you should get professional help._

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to your room?"

Galinda nodded, "Yes, I'm pretty sure _Fiyero_." She said, and added a vicious scowl for good measure.

"You can't seriously be angry at me!"

"I most certainly can, and I am!"

Fiyero snorted, rolling his eyes. "That's absurd."

"Well, your face is absurder. Elphaba won't ever like you with that, that _absurd_ face!"

Fiyero frowned, confused. He opened and closed his mouth several times before saying, "That doesn't even make sense! And my face is _not_ absurd!"

Galinda rolled her eyes. "Please, it's _extremely_ absurd. All big and brown and _absurd_."

Galinda inspected her pink fingernails carefully and smiled. "You know, pink goes much better with green that brown. Absurd brown, at that."

Fiyero crossed his arms and tilted his chin upwards, looking every bit the spoiled child that Galinda was sure he was. "Stop saying I'm absurd!"

"It suits you, Fiyero darling." Galinda responded, and repeated slowly, "Absurd. Absur-"

"_Fine_!" Fiyero shouted, interrupting Galinda. "Well see who is the absurderest of this pair when Elphaba makes her choice."

"Fine."

When Galinda had left in an offended fluffy pink blur, Fiyero kicked the ground.

This was _bad_. Any other competition, he could've dealt with. But this wasn't fair! He might not be the most smart of men, but he wasn't completely brainless, either. He'd seen the way Elphaba acted around Galinda. If she wasn't in love with the blonde already, she was dangerously near.

"I'm _screwed_." he sighed, "Wonder if they sell tighter pants that these? Maybe pink. I need pink."

* * *

Galinda wandered around campus for a while, trying to cool off some of her anger. She considered that being angry at everything probably wasn't a good thing. Risky for premature aging, she was sure.

She was angry at Fiyero, for having the nerve to want to take _her Elphaba_ away from her. She was angry at Elphaba, for being so damn _dense_. She was angry at herself, for being such a coward; all this would be much easier if she just could own up and tell Elphaba plainly – with short and simple words- that she wanted her.

Also, she was a little bit angry at her parents for having raised a coward. And because, _surely_, they had fed her one too many vegetables causing a strange and unhealthy obsession with green.

_Yes, that's it._ Galinda thought, _too much broccoli in my youth._

Galinda stopped walking to laugh at herself, _That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever thought. _

_Well, aside from thinking Elphaba would ever see __what's_ right in front of her.

Luckily for Galinda, before her line of thought could fuel her anger ever more, she heard someone calling her name.

"Galinda!"

Galinda turned around to find Boq walking towards her with an offended looking Milla on his arm. Galinda had the distinct impression that she was interrupting a nice date.

"Hello Boq, Milla." Galinda said, smirking. "Am I interrupting something?"

Both Milla and Boq blushed furiously, which Galinda thought made the pair look kind of adorable.

"No, of course…I mean - " Milla stammered, and looked at Boq as if searching for approval "Maybe? Yes."

Boq smiled dumbly and nodded. "I think you are interrupting something, Miss Galinda."

Boq and Milla proceeded to completely ignore Galinda to make eyes at each other. Before the sheer amount of envy she was feeling managed to turn her as green as Elphaba, she decided she'd better say something to stop the hideous display of affection.

_I'm beginning to sound as cynical as Elphie__._

"I'm happy for you." Galinda said, raising her voice a little to get the pair's attention.

Boq came back to reality first. Giving Galinda a fond, and maybe still a bit dumb, smile. "Thank you, Miss Galinda."

"Galinda," Milla interceded, "Weren't you going on a date today?"

Galinda groaned and rolled her eyes as dramatically as she could. "Turns out my date was a complete _disaster_."

Milla looked surprised. "Really?" she asked, "But you were so very excited about it."

Galinda stared at the ground. "I know." she sighed, "Apparently, my expectative of the date was very, _very_ wrong."

Milla nodded in understanding, and Boq frowned in confusion.

"Well," Milla began, "Surely you didn't expect Elphaba, of all people, to be a consummate romantic."

Galinda laughed. "Well, she will have to learn if she isn't. But that's not the rea-" Galinda stopped talking abruptly.

"Wait."

While Galinda's brain processed, and Boq continued to look incredibly lost, Milla continued talking.

"Galinda, ShenShen and Pfanne maybe be a little…" she waved her hand, appearing to be trying too find the correct word, "Idiotic."

Boq gave her a reproachful look, but she simply shrugged and continued, "But I'm not them, and I'm not blind, you know?"

Galinda sighed again and looked at her shoes. "And I'm kind of obvious, aren't I"

"Well, yes. Painfully so." Milla said, and Boq nodded in agreement.

Galinda laughed, "I've said this once, I'll say it again. I'm not obvious enough. Not to her."

Milla patted Galinda awkwardly on the shoulder. "Yes," she said, looking towards Boq's direction. "it _is_ a bit difficult to deal with the slow ones."

"Hey!" interjected Boq "I resent that."

Milla simply gave him a lopsided grin "Of course you do, darling." She turned her attention back to Galinda, "Now, your turtle. Have you tried the jealousy tactic?"

"Oh, yes. It worked fantastically."

Galinda laughed darkly. "I flirted with Fiyero shamelessly all week, and by Saturday she had arranged a romantic dinner for two in the Golden Duck."

Mila's eyes got wide in disbelief. "And you are _complaining_? If this one ever took me to the Golden Duck-"

Galinda put up a hand to stop her.

"For Fiyero and me." she explained, "She set us up on a date."

Milla and Boq cracked up laughing. A real laugh, the type that boomed out with joy in a way which made Galinda pretty sure her friends were sadists.

After a few minutes, Milla recovered enough to speak.

"I can't believe it, that's _priceless_!" She exclaimed, between bouts of laughing.

"You better believe it, because she did it."

Milla shook her head slowly. "Priceless. _Priceless_."

Boq must have noticed that Galinda didn't find her situation quite as funny as Milla did.

"Why don't you tell her, Galinda?" he asked softly, in a way that reminded Galinda of the way her father talked when he was trying to get her to stop crying over something silly.

However, the question itself was so daft, that if Galinda wasn't such a lady, she might have snorted. "I can't tell her, Boq! Are you insane?"

Boq didn't look crazy, merely confused. "Why not?"

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

Boq shrugged, "Then, she breaks your heart. But," He looked at Milla, who was beginning to look maybe a little bit jealous, "It mends."

Galinda shook her head vigorously. "I don't think mine will. Not if she breaks it."

"This way," she added, "at least I have some hope."

As Milla had done earlier, Boq put his hand on Galinda's shoulder. Only, for some reason, Boq hand didn't feel as awkward as Milla's had felt.

"I don't think you need to Hope, Miss Galinda." he said, "I think you need to tell her."

Galinda supposed Boq knew quite a bit about rejection.

"I think he's right." added Milla. "Thought I can't see why would you want Elphaba, of all the people you have to choose from. You'll never hear the end of it if Pfanne and ShenShen find out."

Boq elbowed Milla on the ribs.

"Ouch, that hurt! You little piece of-" Boq looked at her square in the eye. "I know, make Galinda feel better, not worse. You should tell her, Bocky is right."

"I know." Responded Galinda. "Still, right seldom equals easy."

* * *

Elphaba was freezing. She supposed it had to do with not having taken a coat to her _casual_ walk, or maybe because she had walked all the way to the Golden Duck, in the hopes of casually finding Galinda and Fiyero. Or maybe, it was the wandering around secluded spots of campus, interrupting various young couples. Needless to say, with her luck, none of them were the young couple she was looking for.

Fortunately, when Elphaba crossed the door, trembling, Galinda was already in their room. The amount of relief Elphaba felt at knowing Galinda wasn't in _Fiyero's_ room, would have been scarier if Elphaba wasn't so cold that she could think properly.

Elphaba closed the door softly and sat besides Galinda in her pink fluffy bed.

"Hello."

When Galinda looked up, Elphaba noticed she didn't appear to be exactly shining with happiness. Or a little bit happy.

Actually, she looked kind of miserable.

"Is everything all right, Galinda?" Elphaba asked.

Galinda chewed the inside of her lower lip, and Elphaba feared she was about to cry.

Luckily for Elphaba, who had absolutely no idea how to deal with a crying Galinda, she didn't. Instead, she simply answered, "Yes."

"Then why are you-"

"I mean no. No, everything isn't all right Elphie."

Elphaba frowned. "Your date with Fiyero wasn't good?"

Galinda shook her head, still looking as if she was about to burst into tears any second.

"No, it wasn't."

"He wasn't –" Elphaba began, but Galinda didn't let her finish.

"It had nothing to do with him, Elphie." Galinda said.

Elphaba had no idea what Galinda meant, so she said nothing and, for a few seconds, the room was filled with nothing but silence.

Then, abruptly, Galinda got up from the bed and took an audible breath.

"It was me, Elphie. Fiyero's not…I didn't want to be on a date with him."

Oh no, _no_.

This was a disaster! Had Elphaba chosen the wrong boy? It was impossible, she had been so sure.

She had been wrong.

She had been wrong and she had set up Galinda on a date with a boy she didn't want to be with, and it must've been horrible, and awkward, and now Galinda was sad or angry or both, and Elphaba had no idea what to do.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. "I'm so very sorry Galinda. I don't know what I was thinking, I-"

Now Elphaba had also gotten up, and she was pacing around the room.

"I thought you were still in love with him, I though – I just wanted you to be normal again, happy. I figured you were still crazy about him, I…I'm sorry."

"I'm not in love with Fiyero. I can't."

Elphaba saw Galinda clench her little fists, and take another deep breath. "I- I have feelings for someone else."

Elphaba groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Oh, Oz. I'm and idiot. It's Avaric, isn't it? I knew I shouldn't have crossed him out so easily."

Galinda didn't answer, she simply stood there, eyes fixed on her shoes, about to burst into tears.

"No, not Avaric, that's ridiculous."

Galinda laughed darkly. "You really _don't_ see it, don't you?"

Elphaba, caught up in her frantic pacing, barely noticed that Galinda had spoken.

"Boq, I knew it. I should have chosen Boq. _Idiot_."

"Oh, for _Ozma's_ _sake_!_"_

Elphaba was a little taken aback by the force with which Galinda grabbed her by the shoulders.

"I don't want Boq, or Avaric, or whoever the _hell_ you're going to suggest next!" Galinda shouted, "I want you, you green _imbecile_!"

Elphaba's first thought was, _I don't appreciate being called and imbecile, thank you very much._ But when she was about to say as much, something hit her.

_I want you._ Galinda had said.

_You._

You, who was Elphaba.

"Oh." Was all Elphaba could say.


	10. Upside Down

**Disclaimer:** This story comments on characters, settings, and themes originating from the show Wicked. This story is an original work of fiction that stands on its own. This story can only exist if both of the preceding statements are true. This story can only be read by those who reject the artificial constructs of originality and ownership in creative works. If you do not meet that description, you do not have permission to read this story. If you cannot read this story, it does not exist in your universe.

**A/N:** Darling readers! Another long-awaited chapter is finally here. Don't have much excuses for the length of time between updates, except the usual. And that this chapter was, for some reason, hell to write. The thing just refused to cooperate.

On another matter, WOW! You guys are made of super-reviewer-awesomeness. Last chapter got thirty-one reviews, _thirty-one_. I feel so warm and fuzzy and squishy inside. Thanks, I love you so, my wonderful readers!

One last thing, a Gazillion thanks to Spontaneous Combusken who kindly beta'ed this chapter. And super quickly, too. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

That's all, enjoy:

* * *

**Chapter ten:**

" Upside Down "

* * *

Galinda wondered whether her perception of time was _horribly_ off, or if Elphaba had actually been silent for almost five minutes now.

Even if her perception was actually not very accurate at all, the situation was not… exactly as Galinda had imagined this moment. In fact, it didn't even have the slightest resemblance to the way Galinda had imagined this moment.

_This_ was disastrous.

Elphaba was still in the middle of the room, still as a rock, with an astonished look on her face. She seemed to have stopped breathing, even.

Galinda began to worry. Actually, she had been worrying for a while now. Pretty much since her brain and her mouth had decided to stop communicating and her stupid, _stupid_ mouth had blurted out things best left unsaid.

It wasn't as though she had expected Elphaba to declare her undying love for her the minute she confessed, but still. _Some_ reaction would have been nice.

Galinda fixed her eyes on the floor, if only to avoid Elphaba's expression, which, Galinda thought, was beginning to look mildly disgusted.

"Galinda, I…"

And Galinda really, _truly_ didn't want to hear it.

"I…"

_I'm sorry I if I made you think we could be more than friends. I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry I made you fall in love with me only to break your heart._

_What_ had she been thinking? Believing someone like Elphaba, who was smart, who didn't care about looks, who talked about philosophy and Animals Rights and changing the world, would want someone like dim, pretty little thing, Galinda?

"Galinda," Elphaba's voice was nearer now. Galinda hastily wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"It's all right, Elphie." Galinda said, "I'm sorry. I'll just – I…"

_Don't look at her._

"I'll go, now." Galinda said, and without looking at Elphaba, went for the door. Before she could reach it, though, Elphaba grabbed her arm.

"Galinda," she whispered, "could you _please_ look at me?"

_No__._ Thought Galinda, _No I can't. _

Galinda lifted her eyes from the floor and looked at the window behind Elphaba's face.

"Galinda, I'm sorry. I-" Now, it seemed, was Elphaba's turn to look at the floor, "I didn't know. If I had…I, I wouldn't have-" she sighed soundly, distressed.

"I'm sorry." Elphaba finally concluded.

Galinda waited a long time to see if Elphaba added anything else.

_Please stay; let's talk about it. I like you too, Galinda! Let's have a date tomorrow! What kind of flowers you like?_

But Elphaba said nothing.

"It's okay." Galinda wiped her eyes again.

What was it with these stupid tears?

"I think - I think I need to be alone, Elphie."

_Is it still all right to call her Elphie?_

Elphaba looked as if she was about to say something, but never did. Galinda turned around and walked out of the room. This time, Elphaba let her go.

* * *

Elphaba had no idea what had happened.

She hadn't had any idea the moment it was happening and now, almost twenty hours later, she still had no idea. Surely, she had to be in the middle of some strange hallucination caused by toxic vapors, or opium, or _something_.

Galinda hadn't come back to their room the previous night, nor had she come back that morning. And now, not only was Elphaba confused – flabbergasted? Suspecting that Galinda was under some _dangerous_ form of mind control? - But also, worried.

Still, the more she though about it – twenty-two hours, forty-five minutes and counting – the more sense it made.

Well, not exactly sense, per se. But a kind of sense in which sum of the parts was positively laughable, but the parts of the sum were starting, just now, to have some semblance of sense.

_Oh, for Oz's sake, whatever ounce of sanity I had managed to maintain until now is definitely gone. I've lost my mind._

Luckily for Elphaba, it was Sunday. She had nowhere to be, no classes to study for, and the library was almost deserted. Sundays, it seemed, were not the preferred day for studying in Shiz. Here, she would be able to think. Here, she could make sense of this mess. Here -

"Artichoke!"

Was Pfannee.

Pfannee paid no attention to Elphaba's glare, which the green girl was sure, had she slept for even an hour, would have been more effective.

"Miss Pfannee, hello. Can you please disappear?"

Pfannee made an annoying clicking sound with her tongue.

"Miss Elphaba, how rude!" she said, and took a seat in front of Elphaba in the library table.

"I need your help," she announced, as if that explained everything, and made her presence bearable.

Elphaba thought a considerable number of colorful insults, but refrained from saying any of them. After all, Pfannee, annoying as she was, could be a good enough distraction.

Elphaba moved some of her books away to make room on the table for Pfannee's things.

"I see," she said, closing her notebook.

"There's no need to be so smug about it, _Elphaba._"

Elphaba's lifted her left eyebrow as far as it could go. "Pfannee, you couldn't care less if I'm smug, or rude, or _green_, for that matter. Just tell me what you need, will you?"

"_Someone_ is having a cranky day. What happened, Bean? Not enough photosynthesis?"

Elphaba put her hand against her heart. "Pfannee!" she exclaimed, "Congratulations! That's a _five syllable_ word!"

Elphaba pretended, for a moment, to be so shocked she couldn't speak. Then, she added with a smirk, "Now, let me see you spell it and you get a cookie."

Pfannee's only answer was to roll her eyes. "Never thought about leaving college and going for a career as a comedian, Green?"

"But, if I'm gone, how are you going to pass _anything_?"

It surprised Elphaba that Pfannee seemed truly offended by that remark.

"Now see here, Miss Elphaba… I'm not an _idiot_. I had excellent grades in Orientation!"

"Pfannee, that's not a subject. It didn't have _grades._"

Pfannee made a dismissive gesture, waving her hand. "Nonsense."

Elphaba gave up. "Fine. You're the most capable student I've ever met, thank you for making my life worth living. What do you need help with?"

"Just math."

"Let me see it, then."

"Can we…uhm, go somewhere else?"

Elphaba frowned, "Why?"

What place could there possibly _be_ better that the library?

Pfannee looked around the deserted library and spoke quietly, "I simply," she cleared her throat softly, "well, I don't want anyone to see us."

"Oh, this is _priceless_!" Elphaba laughed. "_You_ come to _me_ for help, and then you want me to hide like I'm some sort of disgusting shameful _thing_?"

Pfannee didn't even have the good grace to look embarrassed. "Well, yes."

This was outrageous! This was insulting! This was-

"Fine."

Something to think about other than Galinda.

* * *

"This is dumb." Pfannee concluded, angrily throwing her pencil on the table.

_You__ are _dumb, Elphaba wanted to reply. What she ended up saying, however, was "It's not dumb, Pfannee. It is absurdly simple, actually. I can't fathom how it is that you are failing this."

Pfannee threw back her head and groaned loudly and in what Galinda would have defined a 'very un-lady like manner'.

_Don't think about Galinda._

"You're not very good at this, you know?" Pfannee asked, narrowing her eyes. "You're supposed to make me feel better, motivate me!"

Elphaba closed her book, sighed, and took off her glasses. "Pfannee, _dearest_." she began, "I haven't the slightest interest in your psychological welfare or motivation to study. If you were to drop out of Shiz, I might even throw a party."

Pfannee snorted, "And who would come to your party, Bean? Galinda and Dr. Dillamond?"

Don't_ mention Galinda._

"I was thinking more along the lines of a quiet party with myself and my joy, but now that you mention it, yes. Maybe I _could_ invite Dr. Dillamond, you certainly are bad enough in his class."

Pfannee gave Elphaba a very ugly glare. "Enough, Green. Will you or will you not explain this to me?"

Now it was Elphaba's turn to snort. "Don't you mean 'explain this to me for the _hundredth_ time'?"

When Pfannee was about to respond – with something Elphaba could only assume would be another long list of clever ways of saying _green bean,_ or something along that line- a knock at the door distracted her.

Elphaba froze for a moment; Galinda could be behind that door! What was she going to say? Oh, sweet Oz, what was she going to _do_? What if Galinda-

"How rude, Green! Aren't you going to answer the door?" Elphaba heard Pfannee say, and that was when she realized that Pfannee was already opening the door herself.

"Wait, Pfannee! Don't open the door!"

Pfannee simply looked at her, smirked maliciously and opened the door to reveal -

_Fiyero_.

Elphaba's sigh of relief was so loud, both Fiyero and Pfannee turned their heads to look at hear curiously.

"Why, Fiyero! Don't you look…colorful today?"

Elphaba paid attention to Fiyero's outfit. It was _indeed_…colorful. Truly, ridiculous might have been a better way to describe it. He was wearing the tightest pants Elphaba had ever seen, and, as if that wasn't enough, they were _bright pink_.

Fiyero beamed and puffed his chest, obviously pleased by the attention. "Hello, Pfannee. You look wonderful yourself."

Pfannee giggled, batted her eyelashes flirtatiously, and let her eyes focus on a place on Fiyero's body Elphaba was sure nobody, _ever_, should look at in public.

"Yes, those pants certainly…become you."

At least Fiyero had the decency to look uncomfortable. He even tried to cover himself with the bouquet of roses he was carrying.

What was Fiyero doing with a bouquet of roses in Elphaba's room, anyway?

_Oh, Oz. Please__, _please_ no._

Fiyero turned his attention to Elphaba. "Elphaba, I was wondering if I could have a word with you?"

Elphaba closed her eyes tightly, willing this horrible nightmare to end.

"Bean, are you still with us?"

_Wake up, wake up. This is a dream, a horrible dream. Please, please let this be __a dream._

"Elphaba?"

Finally, Elphaba gave up.

"Yes, Fiyero. I'm here, I'm _listening_." Elphaba said, her forehead still against the table.

She heard Fiyero cough and Pfannee giggle.

"Could we go, er, somewhere more _private_?"

"No!" Elphaba said, bolting from her chair. "I'm sorry but we are in the middle of a very…" she closed her fist and waved it around frantically, "_Intense! _A very _intense_ study session. If we loose our rhythm we might not find it back, you know?"

Pfannee, who had been standing with her mouth open in shock since hearing the word 'private', gave Elphaba an incredulous look. Fiyero simply looked extremely disappointed.

"Oh." He said.

Fiyero extended the bouquet of roses to Elphaba, " I, uhm, brought this for you."

Elphaba, having no idea what to say, simple mumbled a quiet "Thank you."

Fiyero then turned to leave, but seemed to reconsider about half way out of the door.

"Elphaba,"

_Leave, Fiyero._

"Yes, Fiyero?"

"I was thinking, maybe…you'd like to," Fiyero fixed his eyes on the floor, blushing in a way Elphaba found ridiculous for a boy like him, "go out with me sometime?"

"Fiyero, I'm sorry but-"

Elphaba was getting pretty sick of apologizing all time. Were these people mentally ill? Couldn't they see she was _green,_ for Ozma's sake?

Fiyero didn't let her finish. "Look, Elphaba… Just, think about it, please?" he pleaded.

"I don't think I need to think-"

"Great! I'll see you tomorrow in class!"

Elphaba stood there, holding her bouquet for along time, wondering how was it that the world had turned upside down and she hadn't noticed.

"I can't believe you just did that, Artichoke! Are you _insane_?"

Oh, right. Pfannee was still there.

"I really, really, hope I am insane and this is some sort of peculiar delusion."

Pfannee threw her hands up in the air. "_He_ asked _you_ out! Fiyero Tiggular, looking more edible than I have ever seen him, asked _you_ out and you said no! _You_!"

"I don't want to go out with Fiyero, Pfannee."

Pfannee grimaced as if she had tasted something gone bad.

"That's insane. That's… that's just plain _wrong_, Green."

"Look, Pfannee, Fiyero is nice and everything, I just…"

_Can't stop thinking about Galinda. _Elphaba shook her head and sighed.

"I just…"

Pfannee smiled like she had won something, and banged her fist on the table.

"So you _do_ like him!"

Elphaba shook her head again. Why was she talking about this with Pfannee, of all the stupid people she could choose to talk to?

She was sure she liked Fiyero. He was actually really nice and even, in his own way, smart and charming. But he wasn't...she wouldn't go out with him.

Granted, Elphaba didn't know much about romance, or was interested in it, for that matter. But wasn't the first love supposed to be… _life altering_? Wasn't she supposed to feel as if she couldn't think when the other person was near? Didn't Galinda's book say that love made you dizzy, and crazy, and that you would do just about anything to see that person ha-

"Oh, _fuck_."

As the ground beneath Elphaba began to shake, Pfannee laughed loudly. And Elphaba wanted to murder her.

Couldn't she see Elphaba was in the middle of a _revelation_?

"You _so_ like him!"

Elphaba answered without thinking, "It's complicated," she said.

"I thought you were smarter than that." Pfannee replied, "If you want it, and they want it, what's the problem?"

Pfannee closed her book and looked at her reflection in Elphaba's window "You're not going to find many princes who like your shade of green, Bean." she added, fixing her hair.

Elphaba would have strangled her, if it weren't for the fact that while she was sure not many people would actually _miss_ Pfannee, it was still a crime to murder a classmate. And besides, Elphaba could see that maybe, Pfannee _almost_ kind of had a point.

She was wrong about one thing, though.

It wasn't Fiyero who Elphaba wanted.

* * *

Milla was tired. Tired, and honestly? Very annoyed.

So, _fine_, Elphaba might have or might have not broken Galinda's heart – It was really difficult to understand the girl with all the crying and mumbling- but enough was enough. She wanted to sleep!

Galinda had come to Milla's room the day before, mumbling in mid-sniffle something about Elphaba hating her, cried herself to sleep, woken up, and cried some more.

"Galinda, would you stop crying for a second and _listen_ to me?" Milla asked.

_Really, how can _anyone_ be crying for twenty-four hours?_

Either Galinda didn't hear her, or she was having so much fun in her crying fit that she decided to ignore poor Milla.

_I am a m__artyr._

"Galinda, would you please stop crying? My head hurts."

Galinda didn't stop crying, unfortunately. What she did, however, was talk.

"She hates me, Milla!" she exclaimed between sobs, and hiccupped, "She… thinks I'm _disgusting_!"

Milla was incredibly and sincerely appalled.

"Elphaba said you were disgusting? Is she _insane_? How can she ever…that's just _mean_!"

Galinda let out a high-pitched wail, followed by yet another loud sob. "I know! It's, i-it's… _horrible_!"

Milla sighed, "It is. I would have thought, of all the people at Shiz, Elphaba would be more understanding, you know?"

Galinda nodded slowly, looking picture-perfect miserable as hell.

"I can't believe she would say that!"

Galinda looked up from the pillow, "You talked to her?"

"No, Galinda. What she said to you."

"But…" Galinda's brow wrinkled in confusion, "she didn't say anything to me."

Now Milla was really lost.

"You said she thought you were disgusting?"

Galinda sniffled. "She didn't say it, but she does. She _hates_ me!"

_Please, Lurline. Give me the strength of character not to murder this pathetic excuse for a human being._

Milla inhaled loudly and sat beside Galinda on _her _bed.

"Galinda," she began, very slowly, "What _exactly_ did Elphaba said to you when you told her? _Exactly_?"

Galinda looked confused. "What do you mean? She didn't…" she sniffled, "She didn't say much. She just stood there, and…"

"And?"

"And, well, she said 'sorry'."

"_And_?"

Galinda frowned. "And that was it, I left."

Really, Milla was not particularly prone to violence, but now, she could hit Galinda over the head with something really heavy. Heavy like an Elephant.

"Let me see if I understand this correctly." Milla said. "You told Elphaba, green, formerly hated by all of Shiz Elphaba, that you felt something for her-"

"I _might_ have called her green imbecile."

"You what?"

Milla shook her head. "You know? It doesn't matter. You told her, told this girl who's so obtuse she tried to set you up with Fiyero, that you wanted her, and then without hearing what she had to say, you ran away?"

"I waited!"

Milla slapped her forehead. "I need a vacation from you all. I could be on a _date_, Galinda. Go back to your room, talk to her."

Galinda sniffled again.

Milla simply couldn't take this anymore. "_Stop that!_"

Before Milla could go find that Elephant, Pfannee, without knocking, or even announcing herself, entered the room.

"You won't believe what I just saw!" Pfannee exclaimed as she entered the room, between laughs.

Milla was kind of scared. If Pfannee was this happy, it was bound to be bad.

"I just was at Elphaba's," Pfannee began, and then noticed Galinda. Who was, and Milla couldn't believe the girl wasn't dehydrated yet, still crying.

Milla saved Galinda from saying something idiotic and smitten like 'you saw _Elphie_? Did she happen to mention my name? Did she say that I'm crazy, deeply, _wonkily_ in love with her?' by talking first.

"What were you doing at Elphaba's room?" she asked, honestly curious.

"Needed help with math. Why is Galinda crying?"

Such tact, that Pfannee. Truly, a friend indeed.

Pfannee didn't need to hear Milla's answer. "Oh, that's right. Fiyero and Elphaba, right?"

Galinda's eyebrows practically skyrocketed.

"Fiyero and Elphaba?" she asked. Or demanded to know. Actually, she kind of screeched.

Pfannee rolled her eyes, seeming already bored by the conversation.

"Yes, Galinda. Fiyero and Elphaba. If you would just listen…"

"I'm listening." Galinda added quickly.

Pfannee grinned. "As I was saying, I was at Elphaba's room. And there, out of nothing, comes Prince Fiyero…"

Pfannee stopped, apparently wanting to generate some tension in her story.

Galinda was starting to look slightly murderous "_And_?"

"And he asks her out! Can you believe it?" Pfannee laughed loudly.

When no one else seemed to find the humor in her tale, she frowned.

"Aw, girls. It's funny, the prince and the frog?"

Galinda hugged the pillow tighter. "What did she say?"

For a second, Milla thought Pfannee looked sympathetic.

"She said no."

Galinda seemed to recover the ability to breathe. That is, until Pfannee opened her mouth again.

"She wants him, though."

Galinda's face crumpled so quickly Milla wanted to go find that Elephant and knock Pfannee unconscious.

"She- she does?" Galinda asked, and buried her face in the pillow. From there she mumbled "Oh Lurline, she does." between pitiful sniffles.

Pfannee looked at Galinda disinterestedly. "Please, Galinda. Fiyero isn't that great, anyway."

"I know!" Galinda screamed, throwing the pillow across the room. "He's arrogant, and self-centered, and what does she see in-"

"Galinda!" Milla shouted, "Don't you think is time for you to-" _Shut up?_ "Go home?"

Galinda, thankfully, _blessedly,_ realized she was about to say something very dumb.

"Yes," she nodded. "I suppose I should, I-" she sniffled. "I'll go."

Galinda got up slowly, and dragged herself out the room.

"That girl is crazy." Pfannee said.

Milla shrugged. "Mhm,"

Why was it that she was Pfannee's friend, again?

* * *

Elphaba felt dizzy. No, she felt sick.

No.

She felt as if something –everything- was shifting around her and she was trying, fruitlessly, to hold onto anything that would stay still.

But it was too late. Because Galinda had confessed, and then Pfannee had talked, and Elphaba had realized.

Elphaba had realized things she'd rather not have realized. Now, the world was shifting, and turning upside down, and making her dizzy, and sick, and _scared as hell._

And Galinda wasn't even here.

Not that Elphaba wanted to see her. She didn't. Because if Galinda was scary before, now she was terrifying.

What was Elphaba supposed to do? Should she run and hide until the world stopped spinning? Should she – _what was she supposed to do?_

Elphaba didn't get a chance to find the answer, because the next thing she knew, the world stopped spinning long enough for her to see that Galinda was in the room.

"Hello, Elphie." Galinda whispered, and Elphaba noticed she seemed to have been crying. Actually, she looked about to cry right now.

Elphaba really, really wanted to say something. Somehow, though, words wouldn't come.

When Galinda spoke next, Elphaba could see her crying, even when Galinda was staring fixedly at her pink shoes.

"I'll understand if you want to change rooms," Galinda said. "I'll talk to Madame Morrible."

Elphaba saw Galinda wipe her tears angrily.

_Do something!_

"I'm happy for you, though. I really am."

Somewhere along Galinda's words, Elphaba recovered her voice.

"Happy for me?" she asked.

Was Galinda talking in some sort of code Elphaba was supposed to understand?

Galinda looked at Elphaba's eyes briefly, only long enough to blush and look back at her shoes.

"You and Fiyero."

And now Elphaba was sure her life must be some sort of horrible twisted joke.

But it didn't matter. Because Galinda was there, looking so small and forlorn it was tugging at places in Elphaba's heart she wasn't even sure she had. Because Galinda thought Elphaba wanted Fiyero, and she truly didn't. Because the world had stopped spinning and twisting and turning long enough for Elphaba to see Galinda.

And Elphaba saw her, and realized something else. She was going to do something unthinkable.

Elphaba let herself be guided by instinct.

"Galinda, there's nothing between Fiyero and I." She said, and breathed deeply air that tasted like something washed clean.

Galinda sniffled. "No, but he wants you and you want him, and I should just step-"

And Elphaba kissed her.


End file.
